I Want To Be Her Mom For As Long As I Can

That's not the name of this song.  It's actually "What It Means to be Loved".  I heard it on the way to school this morning, and I could not help but think back to the day my sweet Bailey entered this world and all that she endured the first 11 days of her life and then on through her surgeries.

Then, of course, my mind drifted off to these two miracles that are growing and moving around in my belly.  We find out what they are on Wednesday at 2:00.  But we also find out if there are any concerns that can/could be detected via ultrasound.  We declined all prenatal testing, such as CVS, amnio, and alpha fetoprotein.  The doctor talked at length about the amnio due to my age and the fact that it's twins, but he also kept telling me that since there was a slight risk and since we'd have to do it twice, he would only recommend me doing it IF the results (if they were negative) would change anything about the pregnancy.  To that, I replied, "We know that nothing you or some test could tell us would change me carrying, birthing, and parenting these babies."  And that's honestly how we feel.  I'm not even sure I could decide against carrying and birthing these babies even if the doctor suggested my life was at risk.  I mean, isn't that what being a mom and dad is all about?  Giving your life, if need to be, for your children! 

Anyway, I do think if there are problems and they could be detected via ultrasound, then we'd like to at least know in advance for planning purposes.  I believe that knowing, planning, and being prepared is over half the battle in a situation like that. 

Nothing has given us any reason to believe that these babies are anything but perfectly healthy.  With Bailey, I must admit, I worried myself to sick thinking something would turn out to be wrong.  I even made Sid worry and know things he shouldn't even know.  I mean, what man asks at an ultrasound appointment if their unborn child has ridges in their brain.  Thankfully she did, but that's not something he should have had to worry about.  With that being said, I haven't really thought much about it with these two.  I don't know if that's because I've learned I'm not in control or if it's because I know now that I worried and shouldn't have or if it's because I've been though this once before so nothing is really all that new. 

Whatever the reason, we are going into this ultrasound on Wednesday expecting nothing but healthy babies and to find out the sexes.  As long as they are healthy, we don't really care what they are.  Secretly, I want at least one more girl and I'd love to get a boy out of the deal, so I guess you could say if I had a choice, I'd pick boy/girl.  But really, all I'm picking is healthy. 

Nevertheless, I couldn't help but think of this song all day long after hearing it this morning.  And, so, I share!  Get a tissue.  May we all be blessed by the children in our lives!



Much Love, Barbie