Friday, February 18, 2011

She's Healed, She's Healed!

Sid asked me today why I don't update much on here anymore.   Two reasons, Facebook (which I think is very lame) and I usually love to include pictures and just haven't felt like fighting Bailey with the camera lately.

So, who's healed and what is she healed of?  Miss Bailey, that's who!!!  We had an appointment last Friday to go to the OR with Dr. Carron, her ENT, so he could have a bird's eye view of her airway, clean out her ears, as her tubes were almost out, and do some blood work to determine her level of allergies and how much that plays a part of her croupyness.  However, in true Bailey style, she got very sick last week and we had to postpone it until today. 

We spent the night at our trusty hotel across from the hospital in Jackson last night and were at the hospital checking in by 6:20 this morning.  They did not take Bailey back to the OR until about 9 and let me tell you, it was a looonnnnggggg 3 hours this morning.  It was def a different experience with her being more aware of what is going on and should and should not be happening.  They gave her a very strong sedative before we even went to the OR holding place.  She had never had this prior to going back to the OR and I agreed to it b/c I thought it would knock her out and we wouldn't have to worry about her wanting her juice or wanting to run around anymore.  Well, that didn't happen.  It made her drunk and unruly.  She was literally out of control.  I was sweating by the time they took her to the OR.  She would not give it up, she fought it tooth and nail the entire time.  Seems like I might know a certain Mimi who does not like to give up that control either.  So, they took her back to the OR, we ran to grab a bite of breakfast, and came on back up the OR waiting room. 

It probably wasn't even 10 yet, well I know it wasn't, it was probably around 9:30 and Dr. Carron came to get us.  He was done with her and here is what he had to say:  Her airway was like 70% restricted at 5 months when we did the initial surgery.  Last January he looked at it and it was at a 33% restriction, which he still said was good.  They don't worry about anything that is less than a 50% restriction.  He also told us at that time her airway should never get any smaller from that point, but might get bigger.  So today, her airway only showed a 19% restriction, which he called NORMAL.   Thank you sweet Jesus.  I just kept praying over and over again before she went back to the OR "God give this baby a break.  She has been through enough."  Of course that sort of gets put into perspective when look around and see terminal patients there for their treatment.  But that's a different post.  Dr. Carron seems to think that her reflux and allergies are playing a vital role in keeping her so croupy.  We will meet with him in his office in a month and at that time, two things will more than likely happen.  He will dismiss Bailey as a patient and more than likely refer her to an allergist.  So, that is awesome news for us and we'll take it. 

Dr. Carron had told us at one point that the cause of Bailey's problem could have been from the vent at birth or it could have just grown that way.  He feels like her's just grew like that before she was ever born.  I asked him today if Baby A and Baby B should be looked at for this problem and he said that it was not hereditary and we should be good to go. 


So, after they got Bay back from the OR, they came to get me to hold her and try to calm her down.  She was literally climbling the walls.  She was screaming, crying, holding her breath and then gasping for air, and jerking at her Iv trying to get it off.  I tried to sing to her, give her some ice, her juice, her paci, walk around with her and everytime her attention would turn towards the IV she would get so mad and start all over again.  The sweet nurse tried to take the IV out but because she hadn't had anything to drink yet, someone would let her.  I was a nervous wreck with her pulling that IV, ya'll know how I am about needles and I literally got naseated and thought I was going to pass out watching her yank at that thing.  So, I get the mother of the year award, because I had to go get Sid and let him deal with it. I was crying by the time I got back to the waiting room.  My emotions are just too haywired to watch my baby girl be so upset and me not be able to do anything about it.  It wasn't 5 minutes and Sid came to the door with Bailey squirming all around.  We were going back down the observation and discharge floor, and I noticed her IV out.  Sure enough, she pulled it out.  On the way to the room, she wanted me and not Sid and when I finally got her she was so mad at me, just pinched my cheek and dug her fingernails into it and would not let go.  The nurses were like OMG, she is so mad!!  That was an understatement to say the least.  Finally, once we were in the room and she drank some juice and fell asleep and basically slept until she woke up to throw up all over her and me.  That was also a first for us! 

Tonight, we were sharing some ice cream, which we have started doing at night.  We eat one of those little individual ice cream cups that has like 5 bites in it. She gets a spoon and I get a spoon and we share.  I have loved this with her.  Tonight, she looked up at me and said, got a boo-boo right there moma.  I said, yeah you did that Bailey.  She wrinkled up those eyes and looked at me and then whispered "get in trouble."  I said yes, you normally would but you didn't know what you were doing and mama love's her sweet girl, so I understood.  She said love you mama and that was the end of that.  But you could tell, she was like, I did that and I lived to be here and ask you about it.  haha!

Now, for the negative for the day.  My mom and Sid's mom, and sometimes our dads too, have always supported us with this hospital thing and been there for us and Bailey EVERY time.  Mom came on into town last week and kept Bailey since she was sick, but did not make the trip back this week for this.  Which we understood and turned out to be a good thing.  Sid's mom, however, was there.  She spent the night at Sid's grandmother's in Jackson last night and she and his grandmother met us at the hospital this morning at 6:30.  We were quickly informed that a new policy had been put into place and only 2 visitors could go up to the OR waiting room to be with the child.  That includes Mom and Dad, which means we would have had to leave his mom and grand mom basically sitting in the parking lot and making phone calls to them to update, which we could have done from anywhere.  We have been using this hospital for 2 years and never had this problem.  We were told it started about 2 weeks ago b/c their waiting rooms on each floor were just too small to hold too many visitor's per child.  I understand that, I really do, because sometimes it's standing room only.  BUT, they should inform you of these changes.  They call you at least twice the week of the procedures, they give you all kinds of info in a packet, couldn't they inform  you of those changes somewhere along the line?  Not to mention, at one point, Bailey and I both had throw up all over us and it was keeping on coming.  Sid could have used his mom's help right about that time.  And, know the whole family doesn't get to hear the doctor's spill in the consultation room after all is said and done.  Just sooo many reasons why I don't putting a limit on guests at a hospital in a waiting room with infants and children is the best idea.  Sometimes, the grandmothers have been life savers, well lots of times, because mentally Sid and I were just in a different place.  So, I called the "we're listening" hotline and the lady that answered was very nice, and explained to me that they had just out grown their patient demands and it was a fire hazard to have so many people in such a small waiting room.  I told her I felt like they'd probably loose business over that because some families are going through things where their family is going to be with them.  This also meant that we saw no preachers or anything.  Well, I did get his mom and grandmom to the first waiting room and preop room, but once we departed for the OR floor and waiting room, we did have to part ways.  We met a couple at the hotel this morning headed out with their 18 month old, and the mom had her grandmother with them from Texas.  The Texas grandmother opted to be taken back to the hotel rather than just waiting it out alone in a waiting room far away.  I don't blame her.  But like I said, I don't think that was a policy that was well thought through.  At least we'll know if there is a next time, but there hopefully won't be.  And if there is, we will think carefully about Birmingham so that we don't have this problem, depending on what we are there for. 

Well, Bay is passed out snoring and I've had a long nap already tonight.  I told Sid today that I'm so glad I'm not as nauseated with these babies as I was Bailey, but man, I just cannot catch my second wind.  I'll leave you with a picture I took on my phone today.  Check out the paci's and Versed eyes.  She was soo drunk!

Love to you all!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I Got 2, Mama!

That's Bailey new saying about things.  2 of this, 2 of that, 2 of these, 2 of those, and on and on and on.  She turned 2 on her birthday, so I'm guessing that is where that is coming from.  Although I haven't updated in a while and this post is long overdue, I will do THIS post first (because that's the title I wanted for THIS post) and then go back in a fill in everything else that has been going on. 

My heart has been a stirrin', and I thought I was hearing it say that we needed to adopt.  Not just any ole adoption, but from a specific country, specific age, specific gender, specific, specific, specific!  I talked to Sid about this, and he was semi-opened to the idea, but of course was immediatly shut off from it because of the cost.  It is so impossibly amazing the cost associated with adopting any child, but specifically through an adoption agency.  At least half of the cost associated with the aprox. $30,000 goes straight to the county you are adopting from and most of the other half goes to paying the one country for allow the child to travel out and the US for allowing the child to travel in.  Blah, Blah, Blah!  I just cannot believe that in 3rd world countries, it cost THAT much to help a child in dire need.  Nevertheless, my heart continued to stir and I would pray for Sid's eyes to be open and for me to continue to research and for opportunities to come along that would be sort of our "eye openers, this is IT" moment.  I prayed to the good Lord because my arms longed for another baby, but my head would not allow me to go there for myself.  I was so sick with Bailey and Bailey was so sick when she got here. I just could not allow myself to think about those possiblities all over again.  And I'd tell God this!  I never talked to Sid about us having our own children because I really didn't want anymore of my "own", I knew Sid didn't want me to be a sick pregnant girl again, he had enough the first time, and really my heart of was just pulled to these poor babies in orphanges in other countries who  needed me to be their mama. 

Ok, so fast forward to two weeks ago, January 28th, 29th, and 30th.  Friday, Saturday, Sunday.  Sid texted me that Friday while I was at work and told me that he was going hunting, his Dad was home and was going to keep Bailey and his mom would come by at 5 when she got off of work and I could ride with her out to their house and we'd all eat supper.  What he didn't know was that I felt terrible, head cold, tired, TGIF.  I told him for them to go on and I'd just come on home and lay down.  So they did, and I went by Subway to get a turkey sandwhich and came home to rest.  The turkey sandwich is important here, because I noticed I didn't want the turkey or lettuce, just the pickle, bread, and cheese!  And I drifted in and out until about 8 when I finally crashed for the night.  Saturday didn't bring me much relief, and Sid and Bailey stayed gone all day doing this and that.  I did nothing, I could NOT get off the couch, I wasn't hungry, I couldn't quinch my thrist, just lots of strange stuff.  Sunday came and still felt bad, just something was off.  I had not been out of my pj's all weekend and had slept so very much.  Finally, it dawned on me that I might be a tad late with my monthly friend.   I asked to Sid to make the dreaded purchase I just needed to check.  Within seconds of taking that thing-POSITIVE!!!  OMG!!! I immediatly told Sid, cried, got in the bed, and pulled the covers up over my head, and talked to God.  Why?  I so wanted to adopt, my heart longed for an African Baby with dark eyes and dark curls.  BUT, here's the deal - Sid was not on board.  So maybe God wasn't either and it had just been me talking to myself all this time. 

I researched new doctors on Monday and made an appointment that afternoon with one I felt comfortable with.  This time, we would go to Jackson.  Something just told me that I didn't  need to use the same doctor as with Bailey because #1 I wanted to be in Jackson this go around in the event we needed up level NICU care and #2 just too many problems with Bailey that I felt the doctor didn't respond to. 

Sid and I headed out early Tuesday morning, Feb.1st, to go meet with the new doctor and find out just what was going on.  My biggest question was due date because I couldn't quite remember my last monthly friend.  We say the doctor, he did an exam, said it felt like about 7 weeks by the size of my uterus and sent us for an ultrasound.  I made sure to tell him that I wanted my tubes tied after this delivery.  He did his spill about how that is non-reversable, I'm still young, only the 2nd, yada yada yada!  I kept saying, I know, I don't care, I want it done.  He said he'd make a note and we went on our merry way, with plans to return in 2 weeks if it was sitll too early to detect a heart beat or 4 weeks if a heart beat could be detected.

We signed in for the ultrasound and waited.  By this time, I was getting restless and had plans to go on to work.  I told Sid we should just go, we'd done this before, I could do this next time, this was time I was using that I was going to need later down the road.  But, like the rational human he is, he said no, we'd just wait, we'd be done before too long.  And eventually we were called back, I was instructed to undress from the waist down and we'd begin.  I knew enough to know that it was early enough that this would not be an external ultrasound.  I'll spare you the details of what an internal ultrasound looks like.  Anyway, this doctor's office is posh.  They had a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall so we could see what she saw on her little computer monitor. 

I immedialty saw lots of grey with 2 black spots.  I took a deep breath!  She moved the internal ultrasound thingy again.  I saw 2 blinking dots within each black spot.  Tears sprang to my eyes.  She says, "You do know there are 2?"  I yelled, "OH MY GOSH!"  Sid started crying.  AND LIFE HAS BEEN FOREVER CHANGED.

So, yes, we are expecting Baby A and Baby B, who are both termed "viable" and are due sometime at the end of September.  I missed the due date announcement.  Tomorrow, I am 8 weeks, (2 months) along.  Other than the hibernation I did for 3 straight days the next weekend and the total shock, denial, and sadness, I have felt wonderful.  I am in a better frame of mind, Sid seems to be excited, and I'm ok.  Honestly, at first, I was not.  I hate saying that.  But all I could think about was how we neither one wanted to have another one, much less two, I was so sick the first time, this has to be much worse, full term for twins is 36 weeks, the same time Bailey was born, where would we all sleep and how would we all eat, how could I have two babies at the same time and just pop right back to work and actually feel like working, how will we all get places, Sid just bought me my new 4-runner, I'm not giving it up, we'll go broke with 3 kids in daycare, poor Bailey will have such a shock, and just what in the world happened to that baby I was going to adopt!!!  Well, let me tell you, God has blessed us more than I could ever imagine.  I don't know how we will do it, but I do not that God would not have given us this opportunity and chosen us to bring 2 sweet humans in this world if he was not going to give us a way to provide for them.  Sure, lifestyles will have to change, but we'll be ok. 

So there you have it, Bailey is big sister to be, Sid and I are gonna be mom and dad to 3 Whitehead babies, and WE ARE EXPECTING TWINS IN SEPTEMBER!!!!!  Bailey definatly has 2, Mama!!!

I'll post more later.  That's it for this story!!!