Monday, May 14, 2012

Mom Enough!

I haven't read the latest Time magazine article, as seen above, (borrowed from here) but just the picture makes me wonder what in the world makes some moms tick.  This post could get pretty personal and that's ok, it's my blog.  Don't read if you don't want to.

I didn't breast feed my babies.  Or wear them.  I let them have paci's.  I let them sleep on their tummy's and have blankets way before I should have.  I feed them jarred baby feed.  I sometimes let my 3 year old carry the smaller baby around the house if supervised.  Speaking of my 3 year old, she goes to daycare.  I work outside the home.  Someone other myself or my husband spends more time with our children through the week than we do.  We don't go on play dates.  I took their bottle away at 12 months and I let them keep their paci's way longer than I probably should. I vaccinate!  My 3 year old drinks coke!  And eats candy!!  She sometimes get spanking when she can't follow directions. 

Am I mom enough?  Do these things make me a bad mom or a mom that doesn't love her children as much as the mom seen in that picture does?  I don't know, because I haven't read the article.  But I can tell you that when I see things like that, I cringe.  I just can't wrap my head around what exactly the point of that is.  I just can't wrap my head around the fact that those mom's have to think they are doing way better by their children than those of us who do like I've done. 

Here are some facts:
**My first daughter was a very sick new born.  She had feeding issues and it was a nightmare getting her to take a bottle. I pumped and she did get some breast milk, for maybe the first 6 weeks of life, and then we switched to formula.  The breast feeding lady at the hospital who brought me the pump so I could start pumping filled my head full of facts regarding breast milk, such as babies who get breast milk have higher IQ's, better immune systems, blah blah blah!  Really?? Because I don't get that.  Yeah, I was a breast fed baby for a little bit, and I don't consider myself dumb because I might have gotten some formula.  And my formula fed 1st born is one of the smartest children I know. 

**The twins were early and in the NICU for about 2 weeks. I lived in a hotel room and spent my days at the hospital, away from my husband some nights and my first born every night.  When we got home, I was stressed beyond words.  My milk never came in.  Would a better alternative to formula for them have been nothing?  Because that's what my body offered up- NOTHING!!! 

I saw a picture posted to someone's facebook wall last week that was a picture of a baby with a bar code on it's booty. It read:  your baby doesn't come with a bar code, so why should it's food!! For real!!  I get sick at my stomach.

More facts:
**I have a 3 year old and two 9 month old babies.  I work full time as a high school teacher.  My husband works full time.  We do our best.  Making baby food is something I just don't have the time for right now.  I don't think any of my children are any worse for the wear when it comes to jarred baby food.  So, who cares if my baby didn't come with a bar code, their food DOES and I don't feel one bit bad about it. I don't feel like I am jipping them of a food experience by feeding them Beech Nut/Green Giant brand sweet peas vs. a can of sweet peas I pour into my food processor and grind up with some water. I just don't get that.

And here's the last fact:  I don't think that I am any better, any smarter, any more whatever than a mom who chooses to do what that picture shows.  Than a mom who chooses to breast feed.  Than a mom who stays home and teaches her children big words all day long and goes on play dates.  Than a mom who bakes a sweet potato and mashes it up with water for her baby instead of using a jar of sweet potatoes.  Than a mom who doesn't believe in paci's, or takes them away at 6 months. 

No, I'm not any better.  Because  I love my children unconditionally. I do the best job I know how to do to get through the day. I get up every morning and go to work so that, together, my husband and I can provide the very best that we can for our family.  I make sure I stay in touch with what my 3 year old is doing at daycare or my nanny is doing at home with the twins.  My children are comforted when they are sick or hurt.  They are rocked when they are up all night and can't sleep. They are provided for as best we know how.

So take THAT Time magazine!!!  I do believe that I'm mom enough!!!!!

Edited to add:  I was reading some news on Yahoo! and found THIS ARTICLE titled "50 Shades of Mom: 50 Things Every Kid Needs to Hear".  It says exactly what I meant to say.  Speaking of 50 Shades and mommy porn, if you haven't read the 50 Shades of Grey trilology, get to reading!!! You are missing out on a great, and ummmmmm......interesting read.  I, myself, had to google what some of what I was reading meant. lol!!  Never the less, it's a great story line!
(I will have my for MoM's by MoM's post up tomorrow!)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

9 Months Old

For real????? How in the world did Sid and I get two 9 month old babies??? I mean, the time is just flying by and it makes me sad, yet oh so excited.  Sad, because I know there will...hold up, I'm not saying NEVER be more babies in this house again because we all know where that got me last time, but I know that Sid and I will never grow and birth a baby of our own again.  There might be a baby in this house again, but it won't be because we had one of our own. haha!  It makes me so excited to think about our future with these girls and how much fun we will have as they get older and easier. 

I'm happy to report that Elissa and Ellie are doing great and are so much easier now than they were at around their 6 month birthday. 

At 9 months old, this is what goes on in our world:

Elissa, forever my Baby A, weighs about 25lbs., although she won't technically have her official weight until this week.  She wears size 4 diapers and will probably move to size 5 soon.  She wears anywhere from a 12-24 month, depending on what it is.  She can roll all over the place and can get from the sitting up position to the crawling position.  She looks like she is going to get up and walk in her attempt to crawl, but as of now, she does not crawl.  She eats fruit for breakfast, veggies and fruit for lunch, and some kind of baby food "meal" for supper with a fruit and yogurt.  Oh how they love yogurt. She takes about four bottles a day.  She can feed herself small finger foods, but so far, we just mainly stick to baby foods and then a pinch of whatever we are eating.  She can put some puffs away though.  Elissa loves to patty-cake and shakes her head no-no at you.  She talks up a storm saying dada, mama, bye bye, and then just squealing and jabbering. 

Both babies love love love to see their big sister enter the room.  The "yell" at her and clap and jump up and down.  Neither of them can get enough of her.  They better be glad we are around, because Bailey could be a little rough with them if not supervised. haha!

Ellie, my forever Baby B, weighs about 16llbs, but again the official weight won't come until later this week.  She just now this week moved to size 3 diapers.  She wears anywhere from a few 3-6 months to 12 months.  Ellie is very mobile.  She can go wherever she wants to go.  She crawls all over this house and is pulling to stand.  Every now and then, she lets go and looks like she is getting ready to take a step, but then falls and crawls off.  Giving her a bath has become quite the challenge because she stands up the entire time. LOL!  She eats just like her sister does, sometimes more!  She takes 4 bottles a day too, but getting all of them in is a challenge because she would rather be on the go.  Ellie also loves puff.  She loves to hear me sing patty cake and will dance dance dance!  But she cannot (or will not) clap her hands like Elissa does.  Ellie jabbers all day long and just now started saying dada and mama, but she doesn't "talk" near as much like Ellie does.  I get tickled at her because she will just laugh and laugh at herself like she's proud of something she is doing.

Both babies had been sleeping 12+ hours at night, going straight to bed and not waking up at all, except for maybe the paci.  In the past few days, Ellie has had a hard time at night, but I'm not sure why.  I've had to just let her cry some and eventually she gets in deep enough sleep that she doesn't wake up anymore.  I have enjoyed my sleep so I hope they don't regress in that area.  I've read that around 9 months, there is a sleep regression, but I'm hoping we don't go there!

I have 8 days of school left and I am so looking forward to the summer with my 3 girls. I think I'm going to have the nanny come about 3 days a week and take Bailey to the water park one day and maybe take the babies, one on one, swimming at Kylie's mom and dad's, then have a day to myself for errands.  Sid and I are planning a small vacation to get away, just the 2 of this and I hope to be able to see my Alabama crew at some point. 

And last but not least, I need to mention that today is Mother's Day.  I did not get to see my mom and we really didn't spend much time with Sids' mom today,either.   (She gave me the day off and Si and I went to eat and did a little shopping!)  But neither of us would be in the world without our Mom's and neither of us would be able to BE in this world without them, either.  I owe everything I am everything I have to my mom - for not killing me and my sassy mouth growing up, and for just being there.  Sid's mom helps us out so much- so much more than I could ever write on this page.  We are so blessed.  Then of course, there are my girls.  Bailey- who made me a mom and Ellie and Elissa- who made a statistic, a mom of multiples! haha! I really can't write a whole lot about them because I just get so emotional.  It's just so unreal how blessed we are with 3 perfectly fine, healthy, sweet, smart, growing girls! 

What I will say is that I am not and could not be the mom I am without the driving force behind me- Sid!  In this house, we have to be a team.  I know in most houses, husbands and wives are a team.  But unless you parent two babies at one time, youl'll just have to take my word for it. He gets it! He gets what life is like in this house when no one else does and he gets what we have both given up to be a mom and dad to these 3 girls.  Sid is my reason for getting up the morning and my reason for coming home at night and he makes being a Mom to my three girls so worth it.  I look at my babies and am I just in awe of what we have!

With that being said, Happy Mother's Day and Happy 9 Months to my babies.  And now for what you really stopped by for:  PICTURES!!!!  I took this in the direct sunlight, which was dumb, but I thought some of the faces they were making were too funny!  Ellie and her toothless grin (she still has zero teeth at 9 months old).  She looks like an old lady!  And sweet Elissa (with her four teeth)!

Monday, May 7, 2012

In The Beginning

I am happy to be linking up with new group called MOMs by MOMs, which is  Mom's Of Multiples on-line type of group in which MOM's link up via the blog world and discuss a weekly topic. Since they are just starting, this first week is an introduction to becoming a MOM (Mom of Multiples) (that still gets me every time.)  You can go HERE to see the linky!

So, welcome to my blog and for those of you who do not know: here is our story!

Sid and I met in 2007, right around this time of year, we got engaged a few months later in August of 2007, and were married a few months after that in October of 2007.  We lived in an old rent house and Sid would not even let me talk about trying to have a baby as long as we lived there.  In February, 2008, we bought our house and talk began.  In April, 2008 I started charting my basal temp and in May, 2008 we had our first positive home pregnancy test.  That positive test brought us Bailey in December, 2008!

As most of you know, she was a sick little thing and spent much of her first year of life in the hospital and had to have a major surgery on her airway.  Once we got her settled, we decided we really didn't want anymore children.  She was perfectly healthy and we were happy as could be in our little family of 3. 

I always dread telling this next part because I know there are MANY people out there who struggle and MANY God-fearing couples who long to have what came so easily to us.  Trust me, we don't take it for granted, but I kid you not when I say we were done.  Both of us would tell you if you asked that there would be no more and both of us truly felt that way.  So, on January 28, 2011, when I took a home pregnancy test and it turned positive, we were shocked and if the truth be told, probably a little upset.  So, you can imagine our shock to find out on February 1, 2011, that we were indeed 5 weeks pregnant with not one, but two babies who already had detectable heartbeats! 

Since I'm being honest, I will tell you that the news was such a shock to me that I walked around in a daze for a few months. I just could not picture in my head what two more babies was going to be like on top of having Bailey.  I still probably couldn't put into words what it's like.

 We found out in April, 2011 that both Baby A and Baby B were girls and THAT was something else that was a shock.  I never in all my life would have guessed that I, of all people, would be a mom to 3 girls, two of which were twins.

I had very uneventful pregnancy.  I felt good, I had lots of help, I wanted healthy things to eat, and was never sick. This was total contrast to my pregnancy with Bailey.  Night and Day!  But this was an answered prayer because with Bailey, I was sick just about the whole time and had blood pressure problems, on top of other stuff like carpel tunnel and restless legs.  It was terrible.

On August 11, 2011, Sid and I went out to eat and to the casino to see the Chicago concert.  On Friday, August 12, 2011, we dropped Bailey off at daycare and headed for my weekly appointment at 33 weeks gestation.  It was dead-dog summer in Mississippi, my feet were starting to swell, sleep had gone away and I was struggling to breathe, but I still felt good.  Apparently, the doctor did not like what he saw, because he took one look at me and announced it was time. 

Ya'll, when I say I flipped out, I mean I started crying so hard that I could not even talk. I could not call my parents - I had to email my dad.  It was terrible.  Most people check into the hospital and are happy to be having their baby.  Not me, I remember standing at the L&D desk and the lady just looking at my like I had three heads.  I was just beside myself because I knew it was too early and I could not bear the thought of my tiny babies being the NICU like Bailey had been, and being on all those machines.  It was terrible.  The neonatologist came in and he was really reassuring, but I was so disappointed in myself for not being able to make it a few more weeks in order to just be able to bring the girls directly home from the hospital. 

 Baby A, Elissa Marie, and Baby B, Ellie Jane, were born at 33 weeks gestation.  But I'll leave the birth part for next week, as I think that's what next weeks topic is.  

 I will end this post by saying we become POMs (parents of multiples) only by the grace of God.  Only because God saw it fit that Sid and I were worthy of being called Mom and Dad by two more of his angles.  There is nothing in world like growing and birthing TWO perfectly healthy happy babies.  All babies are miracles, but how special am I that I got TWO of His miracles at one time.  Like I said, I know there are millions of couples out there who would literally die to have our luck and I don't take that for granted.  I try to remember on a daily basis how fortunate we are and how much we are loved by the King to be His keepers of these beautiful souls.  It is not lost on me what we have.  But I do feel we have a simple story on how we got to be parents to twin baby girls.  It's just so ironic because we were DONE, and I mean that with all sense of the word, but the Good Lord had other plans and clearly we were not done.  I look forward to sharing our journey with you and hearing your stories and hopefully learning how to be a better mom to my girls!

Thanks for stopping by and sorry there are no pictures. I'll do better next post, promise!!!