That's Bailey new saying about things. 2 of this, 2 of that, 2 of these, 2 of those, and on and on and on. She turned 2 on her birthday, so I'm guessing that is where that is coming from. Although I haven't updated in a while and this post is long overdue, I will do THIS post first (because that's the title I wanted for THIS post) and then go back in a fill in everything else that has been going on.
My heart has been a stirrin', and I thought I was hearing it say that we needed to adopt. Not just any ole adoption, but from a specific country, specific age, specific gender, specific, specific, specific! I talked to Sid about this, and he was semi-opened to the idea, but of course was immediatly shut off from it because of the cost. It is so impossibly amazing the cost associated with adopting any child, but specifically through an adoption agency. At least half of the cost associated with the aprox. $30,000 goes straight to the county you are adopting from and most of the other half goes to paying the one country for allow the child to travel out and the US for allowing the child to travel in. Blah, Blah, Blah! I just cannot believe that in 3rd world countries, it cost THAT much to help a child in dire need. Nevertheless, my heart continued to stir and I would pray for Sid's eyes to be open and for me to continue to research and for opportunities to come along that would be sort of our "eye openers, this is IT" moment. I prayed to the good Lord because my arms longed for another baby, but my head would not allow me to go there for myself. I was so sick with Bailey and Bailey was so sick when she got here. I just could not allow myself to think about those possiblities all over again. And I'd tell God this! I never talked to Sid about us having our own children because I really didn't want anymore of my "own", I knew Sid didn't want me to be a sick pregnant girl again, he had enough the first time, and really my heart of was just pulled to these poor babies in orphanges in other countries who needed me to be their mama.
Ok, so fast forward to two weeks ago, January 28th, 29th, and 30th. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Sid texted me that Friday while I was at work and told me that he was going hunting, his Dad was home and was going to keep Bailey and his mom would come by at 5 when she got off of work and I could ride with her out to their house and we'd all eat supper. What he didn't know was that I felt terrible, head cold, tired, TGIF. I told him for them to go on and I'd just come on home and lay down. So they did, and I went by Subway to get a turkey sandwhich and came home to rest. The turkey sandwich is important here, because I noticed I didn't want the turkey or lettuce, just the pickle, bread, and cheese! And I drifted in and out until about 8 when I finally crashed for the night. Saturday didn't bring me much relief, and Sid and Bailey stayed gone all day doing this and that. I did nothing, I could NOT get off the couch, I wasn't hungry, I couldn't quinch my thrist, just lots of strange stuff. Sunday came and still felt bad, just something was off. I had not been out of my pj's all weekend and had slept so very much. Finally, it dawned on me that I might be a tad late with my monthly friend. I asked to Sid to make the dreaded purchase I just needed to check. Within seconds of taking that thing-POSITIVE!!! OMG!!! I immediatly told Sid, cried, got in the bed, and pulled the covers up over my head, and talked to God. Why? I so wanted to adopt, my heart longed for an African Baby with dark eyes and dark curls. BUT, here's the deal - Sid was not on board. So maybe God wasn't either and it had just been me talking to myself all this time.
I researched new doctors on Monday and made an appointment that afternoon with one I felt comfortable with. This time, we would go to Jackson. Something just told me that I didn't need to use the same doctor as with Bailey because #1 I wanted to be in Jackson this go around in the event we needed up level NICU care and #2 just too many problems with Bailey that I felt the doctor didn't respond to.
Sid and I headed out early Tuesday morning, Feb.1st, to go meet with the new doctor and find out just what was going on. My biggest question was due date because I couldn't quite remember my last monthly friend. We say the doctor, he did an exam, said it felt like about 7 weeks by the size of my uterus and sent us for an ultrasound. I made sure to tell him that I wanted my tubes tied after this delivery. He did his spill about how that is non-reversable, I'm still young, only the 2nd, yada yada yada! I kept saying, I know, I don't care, I want it done. He said he'd make a note and we went on our merry way, with plans to return in 2 weeks if it was sitll too early to detect a heart beat or 4 weeks if a heart beat could be detected.
We signed in for the ultrasound and waited. By this time, I was getting restless and had plans to go on to work. I told Sid we should just go, we'd done this before, I could do this next time, this was time I was using that I was going to need later down the road. But, like the rational human he is, he said no, we'd just wait, we'd be done before too long. And eventually we were called back, I was instructed to undress from the waist down and we'd begin. I knew enough to know that it was early enough that this would not be an external ultrasound. I'll spare you the details of what an internal ultrasound looks like. Anyway, this doctor's office is posh. They had a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall so we could see what she saw on her little computer monitor.
I immedialty saw lots of grey with 2 black spots. I took a deep breath! She moved the internal ultrasound thingy again. I saw 2 blinking dots within each black spot. Tears sprang to my eyes. She says, "You do know there are 2?" I yelled, "OH MY GOSH!" Sid started crying. AND LIFE HAS BEEN FOREVER CHANGED.
So, yes, we are expecting Baby A and Baby B, who are both termed "viable" and are due sometime at the end of September. I missed the due date announcement. Tomorrow, I am 8 weeks, (2 months) along. Other than the hibernation I did for 3 straight days the next weekend and the total shock, denial, and sadness, I have felt wonderful. I am in a better frame of mind, Sid seems to be excited, and I'm ok. Honestly, at first, I was not. I hate saying that. But all I could think about was how we neither one wanted to have another one, much less two, I was so sick the first time, this has to be much worse, full term for twins is 36 weeks, the same time Bailey was born, where would we all sleep and how would we all eat, how could I have two babies at the same time and just pop right back to work and actually feel like working, how will we all get places, Sid just bought me my new 4-runner, I'm not giving it up, we'll go broke with 3 kids in daycare, poor Bailey will have such a shock, and just what in the world happened to that baby I was going to adopt!!! Well, let me tell you, God has blessed us more than I could ever imagine. I don't know how we will do it, but I do not that God would not have given us this opportunity and chosen us to bring 2 sweet humans in this world if he was not going to give us a way to provide for them. Sure, lifestyles will have to change, but we'll be ok.
So there you have it, Bailey is big sister to be, Sid and I are gonna be mom and dad to 3 Whitehead babies, and WE ARE EXPECTING TWINS IN SEPTEMBER!!!!! Bailey definatly has 2, Mama!!!
I'll post more later. That's it for this story!!!