I haven't read the latest Time magazine article, as seen above, (borrowed from here) but just the picture makes me wonder what in the world makes some moms tick. This post could get pretty personal and that's ok, it's my blog. Don't read if you don't want to.
I didn't breast feed my babies. Or wear them. I let them have paci's. I let them sleep on their tummy's and have blankets way before I should have. I feed them jarred baby feed. I sometimes let my 3 year old carry the smaller baby around the house if supervised. Speaking of my 3 year old, she goes to daycare. I work outside the home. Someone other myself or my husband spends more time with our children through the week than we do. We don't go on play dates. I took their bottle away at 12 months and I let them keep their paci's way longer than I probably should. I vaccinate! My 3 year old drinks coke! And eats candy!! She sometimes get spanking when she can't follow directions.
Am I mom enough? Do these things make me a bad mom or a mom that doesn't love her children as much as the mom seen in that picture does? I don't know, because I haven't read the article. But I can tell you that when I see things like that, I cringe. I just can't wrap my head around what exactly the point of that is. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that those mom's have to think they are doing way better by their children than those of us who do like I've done.
Here are some facts:
**My first daughter was a very sick new born. She had feeding issues and it was a nightmare getting her to take a bottle. I pumped and she did get some breast milk, for maybe the first 6 weeks of life, and then we switched to formula. The breast feeding lady at the hospital who brought me the pump so I could start pumping filled my head full of facts regarding breast milk, such as babies who get breast milk have higher IQ's, better immune systems, blah blah blah! Really?? Because I don't get that. Yeah, I was a breast fed baby for a little bit, and I don't consider myself dumb because I might have gotten some formula. And my formula fed 1st born is one of the smartest children I know.
**The twins were early and in the NICU for about 2 weeks. I lived in a hotel room and spent my days at the hospital, away from my husband some nights and my first born every night. When we got home, I was stressed beyond words. My milk never came in. Would a better alternative to formula for them have been nothing? Because that's what my body offered up- NOTHING!!!
I saw a picture posted to someone's facebook wall last week that was a picture of a baby with a bar code on it's booty. It read: your baby doesn't come with a bar code, so why should it's food!! For real!! I get sick at my stomach.
**I have a 3 year old and two 9 month old babies. I work full time as a high school teacher. My husband works full time. We do our best. Making baby food is something I just don't have the time for right now. I don't think any of my children are any worse for the wear when it comes to jarred baby food. So, who cares if my baby didn't come with a bar code, their food DOES and I don't feel one bit bad about it. I don't feel like I am jipping them of a food experience by feeding them Beech Nut/Green Giant brand sweet peas vs. a can of sweet peas I pour into my food processor and grind up with some water. I just don't get that.
And here's the last fact: I don't think that I am any better, any smarter, any more whatever than a mom who chooses to do what that picture shows. Than a mom who chooses to breast feed. Than a mom who stays home and teaches her children big words all day long and goes on play dates. Than a mom who bakes a sweet potato and mashes it up with water for her baby instead of using a jar of sweet potatoes. Than a mom who doesn't believe in paci's, or takes them away at 6 months.
No, I'm not any better. Because I love my children unconditionally. I do the best job I know how to do to get through the day. I get up every morning and go to work so that, together, my husband and I can provide the very best that we can for our family. I make sure I stay in touch with what my 3 year old is doing at daycare or my nanny is doing at home with the twins. My children are comforted when they are sick or hurt. They are rocked when they are up all night and can't sleep. They are provided for as best we know how.
So take THAT Time magazine!!! I do believe that I'm mom enough!!!!!
Edited to add: I was reading some news on Yahoo! and found THIS ARTICLE titled "50 Shades of Mom: 50 Things Every Kid Needs to Hear". It says exactly what I meant to say. Speaking of 50 Shades and mommy porn, if you haven't read the 50 Shades of Grey trilology, get to reading!!! You are missing out on a great, and ummmmmm......interesting read. I, myself, had to google what some of what I was reading meant. lol!! Never the less, it's a great story line!
(I will have my for MoM's by MoM's post up tomorrow!)