Sid's grandfather, who lives in Jackson, as I've written before, has Alztimer's (I know I didn't spell that right.). He got put in a hospice nursing home type facility a few weeks ago and has been rapidly going down hill since. Yesterday, the call came. Kylie's mom, Nana, kept Mason, Brady and Bailey and the rest of us went to Jackson last night. It was a sad sight to see and my heart ached for all of them seeing Pappaw suffer like that, but I've seen it before. Old age is cruel. I just want to say I'm not scared of dying and I'm certainly not scared of Heaven but I am so so so very scared of suffering or seeing my Sid suffer. I can't imagine what Mammaw is going through. This morning there is no change. Some part of him is hanging on. I stroked his head last night and asked God to have mercy. But there or so many people on this side of Heaven who don't, who will never understand this human suffering. I certainly don't. I felt bad for Sid. I remember that first time I walked in and realized my grandmother was not coming back to us. That hollow look in her eyes and cheek. And of course tears filled my eyes for my grandmother and our loss, but also for the loss in the Whitehead household. Pappaw never knew me or Bailey. But Sid was his hunting buddy. I know this is hard and I would just ask that you pray for our family at this time.
On another note, it was this time last year that Mom and I rushed Bailey back to Jackson and then Sid and his Mom soon followed. She had her emergency surgery to remove those pieces of tissue. She is getting so big. The last few nights, she has not let us rock her to sleep. She has just gotten up in the bed with us and watched TV until she has fallen asleep. But right before she drifts off, I pick her up and snuggle her and kiss that sweet head. Oh, she is our joy right now. I can't wait to have a few weeks to spend just me and her.
I have a post started about being a Mom that was left over from Mother's day. I'll try to find some time to get to it. And I have a few cute pics of her and Mason at Mason K-4 graduation that I'll try to get up.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
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