Because of this thought, this Mother's Day was a bit emotional for me during the one and only time I allowed myself to think about it. Otherwise, I'm still in denial. We went to church with Sid's mom and dad, my mom and dad were out of the country, and although I usually don't enjoy their church, I thought that some of the scripture was fitting based on my thoughts of this pregnancy. I know that we are supposed to look at all babies in this manner, but given the circumstances of our lives, our desires, what we thought our future looked like, etc., there is no doubt in my mind that these babies are a true testimony that God is in control and that He does indeed give us such miracles and blessings. Children are, indeed, a heritage from the Lord, and that's what my stance on these two babies has been from the beginning. I never wanted more children, much less two at one time, and this was such a shock, that I just found myself saying "Ok Lord! Never in a million dreams or desires would I have thought this up. This is all of your doing, and for that we are blessed and will continue to be blessed beyond measure". I have told the good Lord from day 1 that he gave us these babies not of our own desires, but of His, and they are His. I know that all parents feel that way, and I know when we dedicated Bailey that is what pledged. And I'm in no way saying we don't want this babies. I'm just saying that one more baby wasn't something we were even considering, much less two, so for the good Lord to see fit to bless us in this way, to choose us to be the Mom and Dad of not one sweet girl, but THREE, that surely He has a plan and I hope we are sensitive all the years of these girls' lives to make sure we are raising them according to that plan. I hope that makes sense!
This was also an emotional day for me in thinking of my own mother. A mother who has stood beside me through 34 years of, well, years of just stuff. And just like tonight, when Bailey threw a cup of water out of the bathtub and got water all over the floor, I told her stop. She did it again, so I got her out. This made her madder than MAD and she went into tantrum mode. At one point, she reached up and scratched my face, she was sooo mad at me. Of course I try to discipline her in a way that doesn't make her anger worse, but at the same time let her know that she is out of line. She actually asked to go to time out on that one. But anyway, the point is, I know my Mom and Dad have raised me right and that during my screw ups, it wasn't because she wasn't a good mom (or dad), but rather because I just forgot my raising and forgot who I was and did what I wanted to. Now that I know I am about to be the Mom to 3 girls, all I can say is, Mom - I'm paying dearly for the hell I put you through as a teen ager and young adult. haha! I love you dearly and I hope that I am able to be half the mom that you have been to us!
So, with that, I will share with you the pictures I was able to halfway capture of my sweet Bailey before church on Sunday. Now, keep in mind, she was count to 2 and then on 3, jump up and run off. So I was lucky to get what I got, and they aren't the best, but they are real!
I am so incredibly blessed to be the mother of this rock star! She loves me so unconditionally! She has changed my views on life and changed my priorities for the better! I love her so much and have no idea what I did in the days and years before she was mine! I so hope and pray that the addition of her two baby sisters will not be too hard on her.
I love you Bailey Ellen!
Stay tuned this week for the announcement of names for Baby A and Baby B. They aren't known by that around here anymore!!!