Sunday, July 18, 2010

There's A Lot On My Mind

But first I thought I'd post the photo shoot from before church this morning.  Bailey and Sid sort of matched so I was gonna get a few pictures.  Yeah, well, here's how it went!!!

I'm pretty sure she was counting with me, in fact in one of those pictures you can see the "1" finger held up on both hands.  That's how she counts.  But I was done trying to get her to look at the camera, so we were done with it! 

And then we got to church and decided we'd start the nursery in a few weeks when things were back in full force because we will miss it the next few Sundays because of the fair and such.  So we got there, found our regular seats, all the old women oohed and aahed over my cutie and then fear set in.  Bailey has started this thing just over the weekend where she growls, not yells or demands, but growls MINE!!!!!  And I could just see her doing that right in the middle of the sermon.  So I looked at Sid and said  you want me to take her on to the nursery and he, without hesitation, said yes, so off we went.  And we had a great service and Bailey had a great time playing with her friends. 

So, it's been a quiet and peaceful weekend.  It started out Friday with me and Bailey visiting with Kylie and Mason, having lunch and doing a little shopping, as Kylie was looking for a new purse.  She is now the proud owner of a Hobo International.  We got a late afternoon nap, had supper with Daddy and then went to Nana and Pop's to visit everybody.  Saturday, Sid and Bailey got up and headed out to Nene's for breakfast and for Sid to do a few chores.  I stayed at home and read some of my book, I'm in the middle of reading two right now, and rested.  Bailey came home after lunch for a nap and I rested some more.  We then headed to the fair ground for some supper.  It was a nice, somewhat cool night and great food!  Good times visiting.  We headed home and to bed around 10.  Bailey let us sleep until 8 this morning and then is was up and at 'em to get ready for church.  After church, we had lunch and came home for a nap.  Bailey didn't end up falling asleep until about 2 this afternoon and I think I slept with her.  I must say this is the most rested I think I've ever felt. 

And it's a good thing becasue the rat race will soon begin.  I have a few workshops to attend next week and the fair starts on Friday.  We all know how I feel about the fair, but I guess it's growing on me.  I'm still not up for spending the night, but the more I talk to people (in the family) I realize I'm not alone in the spending the night issue.  I hear some voicing their thoughts of not spending the not every night out there. 

I'm so sad that the summer is about to come to a close and we did not get to go on a vacation.  I am so ready for our family of 3, and any other members who might like to join us, to pack our bags and go somewhere we all want to go, out of Neshoba County.  Obviously that won't happen this summer. Maybe over Christmas Break, Spring Break, or for sure next summer.

My Pap-paw has been facilitating a series on Heaven at my home church in Oneonta.  I'm so sad that I didn't get to attend them. He wasn't preaching on Heaven per se, but instead facilitating with questions and leading the discussion.  I did get to talk with him some about it the last time I was home and I intend to do a whole post with the qeustions the group was going to look at.  I think it would be the ultimate to listen to the greastest man that I know on earth talk about our home in paradise. 

My heart has been so heavy the past two days for a family in Idaho that I came across their blog by someone asking for prayer on another blog I read.  The blog world is a mighty thing.  You can read about the family here and the accident.  But basically, the family had one child, a little girl who was born about 5 day before Bailey.  She feel into a canal in the back of the grandparents house, (I think), and floated up the canal 2 miles before someone found her and started CPR.  She had been on the ventilator for about week, but died two days ago.  I just can't imagine where these parents are in their minds or what they are going through.  Nor do I want to imagine.  I mean, one minute they have a happy, healthly, blonde hair, blue eyed little 18 month old, and the next minute, through a tragic accident, she is gone.  This should make us all question.  But in reading the father's words, he said that some people were saying "why us" but he instead said "why not us." Because they knew where their daughter would spend eternity and they would indeed see her again someday.  But still, the heartache, I can't imagine.

This goes back to the topic of Heaven and God that Pap-paw was facilitating this month and it makes my heart long to have heard the discussion, becasue I am one of those people that has a hard time wrapping my mind around how a loving God can cause such a tragic thing to happen.  As my baby girl sits behind me right now playing with my hair telling me "love you", I have a hard time wrapping my mind around such pain and sadness.  All these sick children I read about with inoperable terminal childhood cancer or these kids I read about with a rare skin disorder called EB for short, You can read about some here and here.  You won't be sorry you took a few mintues to look at their stories.  But I just have a hard time wondering how God can allow children to suffer in such horric ways.  And then I ask myself, Does God allow this suffering.  My mind just keeps going and going.

Lately, my heart and mind has been burdened with the topic of adoption.  I feel my heart aching to look into adopting.  But I don't think Sid really wants to.  It's something I pray about and something I pray that will be stirred in his heart if it's meant to be for our family.  We both are pretty adamant that we will not have any more biological children.  The main reason for me is I had no fun growing or birthing Bailey.  Otherwise, I'd have a house full.  Sid's main reason, other than it was no fun to be with me while I was growing a baby, is the money invovled with having a baby.  Of course, our views of that are a bit tainted, as we are still paying NICU and PICU bills.  So, I see his point!  Recently, I stumbled across this blog of a family who adopted a Baby from Africa.  I think the thing that drew me in is I found it at the time the mother was actually there getting the baby boy to bring him home.  It's been neat to see that part of it.  You can click here to see the "gotca day video" where the mom made a slide show of everything leading to the day she got her son and then bringing him home.  I rarely cry at things I read or see online, but I just sat and let the tears stream down my face as I watched this one. 

It's been a prayer of my heart for some time now that God would use me to further His kingdom.  That he would place some type of calling upon my heart, lead me in his ways.  And I'd think up these crazy things like wanting to adopt or go on mission trips (if you know me, you know how crazy that sounds), or start a bible study group, but this weekend God spoke.  Sid got a phone call with someone from the church asking to speak to me.  And when I finally got back in touch with her, she wanted to know if I'd be interested in helping teach the preschool class called Mission Friends, where the preschoolers learn about missions and such.  I didn't have to think about it very long because clearly this is God's answer for now.  Not adoption, not a mission trip itself, but teaching and learing along with small children about what it means to be a missionary.  So I will go, I will learn, I will do some behavior management, but I can assure you I will not be the teacher in the room.  For God is speaking and he will teach.

  I've been frustrated the past week or so because Bailey was ill with the hand, foot, mouth junk and I felt like it was a lost cause to try to keep my house in order as I cleaned one mess, she was making another.  I was frustrated, I wanted out of the house, I wanted a vacation, I wanted her to listen and mind and not make messes and not stress me out.  But at the end of the day, I realized I'd take all these messes over none at all.  I'd take her fits over silence in my house.  I'd take being home alone from sun up to sun down because Sid had 3 funerals, becasue it meant he had a job.  I'll take my living room looking like Toys R Us vs. not having a reason to have toys out in the first place.  I'll take things such as going to the fair in 110 degree heat because it means we are well and can get out and do those things. 

So you see, lots on my mind.  I don't want it to sound like all I do is read the internet and get depressed that's not the case.  But there are some things I've come across lately that have made me thankful for my baby, my family, our health, the roof over our head, jobs, and the Holy Spirit stirring in our lives.

Is he stirring in your's lately?

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