Tuesday, January 27, 2009

This One's For The Boy

I had started a long post to journal Bailey's birth story and the events that unfolded shortly thereafter, but have not finished it. So, before the "moment" is lost, I just want to brag on Sid for a bit. I could not have asked for a better person to be by my side as Bailey was born and taken to the NICU. On that first night, when the nurses wouldn't let me up to go see my baby, Sid would go the NICU and record Bailey and bring it back for me to watch. If he woke up in the middle of the night and I wasn't awake, he'd immedialty call for an update on the sweet girl. Once he woke up in the morning, he would quickly dress, get us some breakfast and take off to see his baby girl. When I was falling apart, he was always there trying to be the strong one. And when you take a step back and look at the what actually happened on that Monday morning/afternoon, poor Sid must have gone through hell. I mean, he was dealing with a wife who had dangerous things going on as well as a new baby who was sick. He told me after things settled down that at one point he didn't know if he was going or coming. He couldn't be with Bailey and he couldn't get back into the OR to be with me. So he just stood there in the middle of the hallway thinking "what do I do now?" How frightening that must have been. I will have to say that for the first 24-34 hours after Bailey was born, I was the lucky one because I really didn't realize what all was going on and how serious Bailey was, or even how serious the situation with me had been. Guess I had some good stuff in that IV, but not Sid. I was lucky enough to be confined to the bed in that tiny hosptial room, not knowing what was really going on. Not Sid, he was the one having to handle me and Bailey all at the same time.

Not until I was released from the hospital and was able to come home and get a shower in my bathroom and get some good sleep in my bed, did I really realize what was happening and was really going on. And I remember at one point during the weekend eating in the hospital cafeteria and looking across the table at this sweet man that is my husband, did I realize what a toll the ordeal was having on him. He looked like he could break at any minute, and in private he might have, but never in front of me. And from that moment on, everytime I looked at him during the days of Bailey being in the NICU, I gained more and more respect for him.

I saw Sid tear up on several occassions. When we left the hospital on Christmas Day with an empty car seat in the back. When he learned about the baby in the NICU having to be air lifted to UAB. When someone would call and tell him how much they were thinking of us and praying for our Bailey. I saw Sid get mad on several occassions. Like the time that nosey nurse in the NICU informed me and Kylie (our sister-in-law) that Bailey was a sick, sick baby. But most of all, I saw a whole lot of love and I felt loved and I felt the love that he has for our baby, for our family. And for that I will forever be grateful. He has no idea how his strength held me together during those 11 days.

Now, if I can just get him to understand what I do at home all day with a new baby when he gets home and the house isn't cleaned or I haven't had a shower or brushed my teeth. He isn't ugly by any means, but he does question just what went on for the 8 or 9 hours while he was working. All I can say is "if you only knew."

1 comment:

Allison said...

I am so glad you had the support you needed during the whole ordeal. I could not imagine what all of that must have been like?! I also wish sometimes i had a better answer to why things are crazy and I am not showered at the end of the day when Tim comes home. Until you live a day in our shoes, I am not sure they will ever understand! OF course now that the kids are older that is not as much as an issue, so just hang in there and enjoy your time together while she is still little. She will be going to school before you know it.....