On April 22, 2009, our world as we knew it shook. And not a good shake.
My sweet 4 month old went into respiratory distress. Since I knew nothing about the sort, she had to go until the morning time to see the doctor. Less than 24 hours later, she was admitted to the hospital. For five very long days. Those five days were way longer than the 11 days she spent in the NICU just four months earlier. Or so it seemed. You can read about that day of admission HERE. You can read about what we went through during that five day stay HERE. On the day that we were discharged, which was April 29, 2009, (someday she'll appreciate these details) we were discharged and sent on our way to an ENT appointment in Jackson. That's also in this post HERE. (I did write a detailed post HERE of the daily happenings of that five day stay in the hospital if you are interested in reading.)
The appointment in Jackson the day we were discharged lead us to the OR on May 8th, 2009. You can read about the OR trip HERE. The OR trip lead to the discovery that Bailey's airway was only functioning at about only 10%-30%, meaning her airway was VERY narrow, or restricted, and she would need surgery to keep from having distress.
Her surgery was scheduled for the following Tuesday, May 12, 2009. You can read about that day HERE. Bailey stayed in the PICU from May 12th until Saturday May 16th. On that Saturday, she was transferred to a room and stayed two more nights. She was discharged on Monday, May 19th, and we made the trip home. There are several other posts on the blog around that time if you'd like to look at them. Mostly they just document pictures and her progress for the day.
The discharge home on Monday lead us to an emergency surgery on Wednesday, May 21, 2009, when she went back into respiratory distress. There was some tissue that was trying to heal in the airway, and was causing more blockage. Thankfully, we only had to stay in the hospital for one night and were back at home for the second time on Thursday, May 22, 2009. You can read about all that happening HERE.
Now, fast forward to January of 2010. Bailey got tubes put in for recurrent ear infections and Dr. Carron, the ENT/surgeon, decided that while he had her in the OR, sedated, he'd take a look at her airway. On Friday, January 22, 2010, Bailey got her tubes put in and we learned that her airway was working at about 75%, which was a huge growth from the surgery back in May. We were sooo glad. You can read all about that trip, and see such cuteness of the princess herself, HERE and HERE. We left that appointment knowing that at some point in her life, her airway would have to be looked at again. No exact plans, but jut knew it would sometime happen.
So, on Friday, February 18, 2011, 13 months since the last time her airway had been viewed, and 20 months since the original surgery in May of 2009, Bailey went back to the OR so her ears could be cleaned out, her airway could be assessed, and to have some blood drawn for allergy testing. You can read all about that day HERE. We learned that day that Bailey's airway was working at around 87%, which is considered normal and something that we consider a miracle. I can never express in writing or words the feeling I had when Dr. Carron said he felt she had a normal airway and was well on her way to being discharged from his care. A day we thought would never happen. We left the hospital this day with an appointment to return to his office for a follow up from the OR visit and Dr. Carron felt that all of Bailey's respiratory troubles from the past year probably came from the fact that she has bad allergies/asthma and would need to see an allergist. We already have a pulmunologist.
So, on Wednesday, March 30, 2011, Sid took Bailey to see Dr. Carron in his office for the follow-up. At this time, Bailey has been discharged from his care, almost 23 months to the date that she initially went into distress. We knew that was coming but it felt so good to know that her troubles in that aspect are gone. It feels so good to know that her airway is something that we only have to worry about in the normal way of worrying. Not in a way of freaking out every time the weather changes or she coughs. It was a horrible sight and feeling seeing that little chest sink in and her struggle with every breath. But thank the Good Lord Above, she's healed and we are filled with joy. Remember our Christmas cards, "He has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Indeed my friends, indeeed!!! Also, the other piece of good news is that Bailey has no allergies. None. So we didn't get a referral to the allergist and my mom can stop worrying about the dust in my house. The only thing that we are worried about at this time is her asthma and I think I will follow up with that this summer with the pulmunologist. We continue to do the breathing treatments every day and are hopeful this last round of pneumonia is the last round.
We count every blessing.
In other news, we are almost to the 15 week mark with these twins. And I can tell it. I 'm still in regular clothes, still not back to the weight I was the day I found out I was pregnant, but growing all the same. The books say the babies are about the size of an apple. I feel it. I feel like I have two apples that want to fall out every time I stand up. It's not a good feeling, but they adjust themselves and I'm fine. I do think I've felt some movements here and there, but nothing huge. I have been feeling ok with the nausea, but having some killer headaches late in the afternoon. My energy level, which was up for the past month, has gone back down. I do ok getting up and getting ready and getting to work, but by about 1:00, I need some rest. By the time I get home at 4:30, since I didnt' get that rest, I'm in need of some major rest. I haven't felt like doing much after that time and it makes me sort of depressed. But I know they'll be no rest for weary when these peas are shelled from their pod. So, I'm continuing to count every blessing, including the fact that my wonderful sweet husband cooks and washes clothes. He's such a keeper!! We have 7 weeks of school left, and I can do it. I plan to send Bailey to daycare 1/2 days during the summer and pick her up at nap time. That way, I can rest and she can get out of the house and play for a bit. I might not send her everyday, but she's got to go some if I'm going to keep these babies in until late August and start back school in early August.
Much Love, Barbie
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Oh Glorious Day!
I heard this song on the way to the doctor Friday morning and again on the way home Friday afternoon. I immediatly knew, the first time, that I had to have this song in my memory. I just wanted to put it on the blog so I never forget it. In case you don't take the time to listen to the video, read these words:
Living, He loved Me!
Dying, He saved me!
Buried, He carried my sins far away!
Rising, He justified, freely forever!
One day He's coming -
Oh Glorious Day!
LOVE THIS!!!!! Such a great song to have in my head and heart here around Easter time!
Much Love, Barbie
Friday, March 25, 2011
Doctor's Visit: The One In Which I Cried
I was scheduled to go to the doctor for my monthly check up this upcoming Tuesday. I would have been right at 14.5 weeks (I think) and we were trucking right along. Then, Thursday came and we had to work until 6 and I was on my feel for almost 12 hours and just worn out. My lower abdomen and my pelvic area was hurting, not cramping, but hurting. I didn't think much of it, because honestly, that's probably going to get alot worse before it gets any better.
But then this morning, I woke up and felt very nauseated. I got on in the shower and then I started throwing up. I didn't think much of this either, although it hasn't happened very often. The majority of my "morning sickness" has just been a blah feeling in which I have to eat a little at a time to get my get up and go going.
But then something was in my throw up and there shouldn't have been. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink. And I tried to get closer to see what it was before it escaped down the drain with the shower water. But I couldn't. And then, a big huge (if you have a weak stomach, now would be the time to just skip on down some) clot of blood came up. And then it happened again.
It sort of freaked me out, but I kept on getting my shower. I got out and called the doctor's number to see if there was a doctor on call. There was, but the recording I had to listen to in order to talk to the answering service told me that if this was not an emergency, I would be charged $15. I hung up. I mean, was this an emergency, was this not. I woke Sid up. Asked his opinion. His opinion was for me to forgo the possible waste of $15 and call the freaking doctor back. I did and talked to the on call doctor. He said more than likely it was just a GI problem, but given the fact that I was pregnant with twins, I should just come on in to see my regular doctor. The thing was, I felt, and still do, feel fine. Anyway, I went on the doctor, arriving at 8:30 like I was instructed to do. I assumed that since I was supposed to go in four days anyway, that this would just be my monthly visit. Finally, at about 9:30, the nurse came to get me to find out what was going on. I told her and she decided that I should go ahead for the sonogram and then maybe the doctor would be there! W.H.A.T?? Then, when I got down to the sono, I waited and waited and was about to go ask if they forgot about me when they finally called my name. I had a lady this time doing the sono that seemed to be in a hurry and wasn't very nice or talkative. Usually, I got lots of pictures of both babies and they spend lots of time. This was also the sono where we were looking for separate placentas. She just really didn't say much and when I asked if she could try to see what they were, knowing it was still awfully early, she replied, "too soon!" And that was it. So I kept my mouth shut the rest of the time and left there with my two pictures of Baby A and one picture of Baby B.
I went back up to see the doctor and didn't really have to wait much longer there, but it was already going on 10 and I was ready to go at this point. Finally, Dr. North came in and I just started crying. I think I was just so emotionally worn at that time and the fact that the sono lady was rude and that doesn't set well with an extra hormonal pregnant girl, I was just a wreck. I bawled the whole time we were talking and then I felt stupid and started saying, "I really wish I knew why I was crying. I have no idea why I'm crying". And of course, then I apologized. He just left and assured me I'm supposed to be crying at this stage and that was a good thing really. I'll take his word for it. I was sooooo embarrassed.
We talked about the babies first. They look great. The heart rates had gone down some to 146 and 151. She didn't tell me how long they were and he didn't either. But they are measuring right at 14 weeks, which is right. And, the best news of all, other than they look good still, is that they DO have their own placentas. So, no worries there.
Then we talked about me. Dr. North really felt like the problem just stomach irritation and wants me to take an antacid for a week. If this were to happen again, I am to call him back and come in because there could be a tear, but given the fact it only happened that once today, I think we'll live.
We go back in a month, at 17 weeks, will have a big scan to check all the body parts and such and WILL find out what Baby A and Baby B are.
It has been an emotionally taxing day and I'm ready to call it a night. Unfortunately, Bailey is over here doing head stands in the middle of the bed. Sid, bless his heart, also spent his morning at the doctor. He got 2 shots and came home with 4 medicines. He apparently has a bad sinus/ear infection. Neither of us feel like dealing with our sweet 2 year old who insists it's time to be ripping and roaring. I keep thinking to myself, when (because it will happen with twins) I get put on bed rest, I don't know how it's going to work. She can't stay in this house and me be on bed rest, that much is obvious. I think it's clear from bed rest with her, I'm the only one who takes bed rest seriously. I guess at this time, I'll be thankful I'm not on bed rest and it's not an issue at this time. But just the wrestling with and picking her up feels like I'm tearing my insides out.
See? Pity party? I think much! I'm blaming on the double hormonal thing at this point!!
Much Love, Barbie
But then this morning, I woke up and felt very nauseated. I got on in the shower and then I started throwing up. I didn't think much of this either, although it hasn't happened very often. The majority of my "morning sickness" has just been a blah feeling in which I have to eat a little at a time to get my get up and go going.
But then something was in my throw up and there shouldn't have been. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink. And I tried to get closer to see what it was before it escaped down the drain with the shower water. But I couldn't. And then, a big huge (if you have a weak stomach, now would be the time to just skip on down some) clot of blood came up. And then it happened again.
It sort of freaked me out, but I kept on getting my shower. I got out and called the doctor's number to see if there was a doctor on call. There was, but the recording I had to listen to in order to talk to the answering service told me that if this was not an emergency, I would be charged $15. I hung up. I mean, was this an emergency, was this not. I woke Sid up. Asked his opinion. His opinion was for me to forgo the possible waste of $15 and call the freaking doctor back. I did and talked to the on call doctor. He said more than likely it was just a GI problem, but given the fact that I was pregnant with twins, I should just come on in to see my regular doctor. The thing was, I felt, and still do, feel fine. Anyway, I went on the doctor, arriving at 8:30 like I was instructed to do. I assumed that since I was supposed to go in four days anyway, that this would just be my monthly visit. Finally, at about 9:30, the nurse came to get me to find out what was going on. I told her and she decided that I should go ahead for the sonogram and then maybe the doctor would be there! W.H.A.T?? Then, when I got down to the sono, I waited and waited and was about to go ask if they forgot about me when they finally called my name. I had a lady this time doing the sono that seemed to be in a hurry and wasn't very nice or talkative. Usually, I got lots of pictures of both babies and they spend lots of time. This was also the sono where we were looking for separate placentas. She just really didn't say much and when I asked if she could try to see what they were, knowing it was still awfully early, she replied, "too soon!" And that was it. So I kept my mouth shut the rest of the time and left there with my two pictures of Baby A and one picture of Baby B.
I went back up to see the doctor and didn't really have to wait much longer there, but it was already going on 10 and I was ready to go at this point. Finally, Dr. North came in and I just started crying. I think I was just so emotionally worn at that time and the fact that the sono lady was rude and that doesn't set well with an extra hormonal pregnant girl, I was just a wreck. I bawled the whole time we were talking and then I felt stupid and started saying, "I really wish I knew why I was crying. I have no idea why I'm crying". And of course, then I apologized. He just left and assured me I'm supposed to be crying at this stage and that was a good thing really. I'll take his word for it. I was sooooo embarrassed.
We talked about the babies first. They look great. The heart rates had gone down some to 146 and 151. She didn't tell me how long they were and he didn't either. But they are measuring right at 14 weeks, which is right. And, the best news of all, other than they look good still, is that they DO have their own placentas. So, no worries there.
Then we talked about me. Dr. North really felt like the problem just stomach irritation and wants me to take an antacid for a week. If this were to happen again, I am to call him back and come in because there could be a tear, but given the fact it only happened that once today, I think we'll live.
We go back in a month, at 17 weeks, will have a big scan to check all the body parts and such and WILL find out what Baby A and Baby B are.
It has been an emotionally taxing day and I'm ready to call it a night. Unfortunately, Bailey is over here doing head stands in the middle of the bed. Sid, bless his heart, also spent his morning at the doctor. He got 2 shots and came home with 4 medicines. He apparently has a bad sinus/ear infection. Neither of us feel like dealing with our sweet 2 year old who insists it's time to be ripping and roaring. I keep thinking to myself, when (because it will happen with twins) I get put on bed rest, I don't know how it's going to work. She can't stay in this house and me be on bed rest, that much is obvious. I think it's clear from bed rest with her, I'm the only one who takes bed rest seriously. I guess at this time, I'll be thankful I'm not on bed rest and it's not an issue at this time. But just the wrestling with and picking her up feels like I'm tearing my insides out.
See? Pity party? I think much! I'm blaming on the double hormonal thing at this point!!
Much Love, Barbie
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I Don't Believe
Although I don't really believe in this kind of stuff, my phone has a home page when you pull up the media net, which I guess is the Internet. And on this home page are several links to different stuff, twitter (which I don't do), news, weather, and horoscope. Somedays I look at all that stuff, somedays I don't. Because I was at home with Bailey today and oh so boared, I did!
This is what my horoscope said:
Leo: You have crossed a threshold of sorts - there is a place you were in that you are never going to return to again. This could have been a pleasant place or it could have been an unpleasant one, but regardless, you should be grateful to be where you are right now. A new project or relationship is well on its way to getting started, and there's no need to be nervous about where it is headed. Your proactive energy has you in a great position.
W.H.A.T?????
If you know me VERY personally, you know I'm am so so so so so so grateful to be where I am today and that I never have to return to that place that made me not me again. And a new project or relationship: I'll take these babies as a new relationship any day. And they are well on their way to being here. Nervous?
Who said I am nervous? I'm scared out of my mind nervous and anxious about these two new relationships. I'm very sad for the relationship that me, Bailey and Sid have and how the dynamics of that relationship will indeed change when Baby A and Baby B arrive. We will most defiantly have to all 3 pull together to remember that those early days of nothing but crying, spit up, and sleepless nights don't last forever. I'm sure that together, the 3 of us will embrace the journey we have been given and take it all in stride, but I'm not even sure nervous and anxious and scared are the right description words to really get my point across as to what I feel.
I do know that even though I don't necessarily believe in horoscopes, I do believe in the giver of life. The one who has made me a Mom once and will do it again two more times. The one will clearly show me the purpose of these 2 babies. I don't believe it was fate or coincidence that we are having twins on top of a 2 year old when we really didn't want anymore.
The Good Lord has brought me safe, to this place, and he won't leave me here to wrestle with feelings. He'll see us through. And just like, with His help and the help of the village that got me out of that place, and where I am today, both will see us to where we are all going!
I was just sort of shocked when I read these words today and wanted to share. And don't get me wrong, I'm not silly enough to believe that through God alone we can sell this house for what we want, and get a new one where we want it, and get a vehicle big enough to haul these babies around in, and a plan for getting 3 small ones to daycare without their mama at home each morning, and how we are going to pay for that daycare in the first place. But I do know that the Good Lord has given us that village that I speak of. And that village has never let us down!
This is what my horoscope said:
Leo: You have crossed a threshold of sorts - there is a place you were in that you are never going to return to again. This could have been a pleasant place or it could have been an unpleasant one, but regardless, you should be grateful to be where you are right now. A new project or relationship is well on its way to getting started, and there's no need to be nervous about where it is headed. Your proactive energy has you in a great position.
W.H.A.T?????
If you know me VERY personally, you know I'm am so so so so so so grateful to be where I am today and that I never have to return to that place that made me not me again. And a new project or relationship: I'll take these babies as a new relationship any day. And they are well on their way to being here. Nervous?
Who said I am nervous? I'm scared out of my mind nervous and anxious about these two new relationships. I'm very sad for the relationship that me, Bailey and Sid have and how the dynamics of that relationship will indeed change when Baby A and Baby B arrive. We will most defiantly have to all 3 pull together to remember that those early days of nothing but crying, spit up, and sleepless nights don't last forever. I'm sure that together, the 3 of us will embrace the journey we have been given and take it all in stride, but I'm not even sure nervous and anxious and scared are the right description words to really get my point across as to what I feel.
I do know that even though I don't necessarily believe in horoscopes, I do believe in the giver of life. The one who has made me a Mom once and will do it again two more times. The one will clearly show me the purpose of these 2 babies. I don't believe it was fate or coincidence that we are having twins on top of a 2 year old when we really didn't want anymore.
The Good Lord has brought me safe, to this place, and he won't leave me here to wrestle with feelings. He'll see us through. And just like, with His help and the help of the village that got me out of that place, and where I am today, both will see us to where we are all going!
I was just sort of shocked when I read these words today and wanted to share. And don't get me wrong, I'm not silly enough to believe that through God alone we can sell this house for what we want, and get a new one where we want it, and get a vehicle big enough to haul these babies around in, and a plan for getting 3 small ones to daycare without their mama at home each morning, and how we are going to pay for that daycare in the first place. But I do know that the Good Lord has given us that village that I speak of. And that village has never let us down!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Well, It's the Song That Never Ends
Oh, it goes on and on my friends.
Someone started singing it, not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue singing it forever just because,
IT'S THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!!!
Bailey is sick. again.
I don't really know what else to say. She started coughing last Tuesday and by Wednesday was running a fever. I didn't know she was running a fever until it was too late to go to the pediatrician. After two doses of Tylenol, she seemed to be doing much better with no temp. Plus she was getting cough med and breathing treatments. But again, on Thursday afternoon, too late to go to the doctor, she started running a temp. Friday morning, the doctor's office is only open until 12 and they were only taking 10 walk-ins because they were short staffed due to it being the Friday of spring break. Like a fool, I let it go. I told myself it was just allergies and she would be fine with a few more days of breathing treatments. And she was ok, until Tuesday of this week. Monday night she coughed and coughed and coughed and finally at 3 am she wanted some cough medicine. So this afternoon, we went to the doctor.
The verdict: PNEUMONIA!!! I'm pretty sure that's spelled wrong, but I don't care at this point. See, we don't see the same doctor, well really she was a nurse practitioner, but she saved Bailey's life and we love her. But she left the clinic a few weeks ago and has not taken a new position anywhere else yet. I really didn't want to go back to the clinic here and see the new doctor because the new doctor sort of ran her off and I didn't like that at all. But I broke down, and we saw the new doctor. The difference between the new doc and the old one was that the old one gave Popsicles. So, naturally, Bailey wanted one. They scraped around and found one and Bailey was in love. Then it was gone and she wanted another one. But we didn't have another one. So when I walked out the door with her, slapped me in the face. Someone please please please tell me this is normal 2 year old behavior. I feel like either I should be medicated or my child should be on an antiphyscotic!
So I get her in the car, we head a block down the road to drop off her prescriptions and Sid was gonna come right behind me and pick them up. Well, of course they have a bubble gum machine, which is Bailey's first true love. I didn't have any money, so the sweet girl that checks you out gave her a dime. She got a pink piece of gum, which is her favorite and then decides to run to the candy isle and look for a pack of gum. Except that wasn't happening! So I picked her up and carried her to the car. She got soooo mad that before I could get her to the car, she took the ball of pink gum and threw it across the parking lot. Guess what? The gum was gone! Forever! And she was none too happy. She pitched such a fit that by the time we got home, which was only 3 minutes away, her mouth was pouring blood. She had either scratched herself or bit herself or something.
Again, is this normal 2 year old behavior. By this time, I was praying to the God of everything that He would sustain me. I refuse to spank my 2 year old when she is in full meltdown mode. I mean, hello, when I'm in meltdown mode and someone were to come along and use physical force to knock it out of me, I only see one of two things happen - retaliate with same physical force or just get even darn madder than I already was. So I refuse to do it. All I know to let her do it is work it out on her own. But it's soooo hard to do when she's screamed "My pink bubble gum mama!" at the top of her lungs for 3 minutes straight.
Clearly, she doesn't feel good. Or she needs to be medicated.
Then we get home, and I'm gonna win the mother of the year award by getting her a bath. NOPE. Wasn't happening. And fixing her some chicken noodle soup. NOPE. Didn't want it. Ok, then let's get our medicines so that we get those in our system. THREE DOSES LATER, WE FINALLY HAVE ONE DOSE IN US. I'm pretty sure we don't have enough to last 10 days because she is wearing one dose in her hair and my shirt got dose number 2. Dose number 3 finally was ingested when it was placed in her juice.
Let's go back to that chicken noodle soup. She let her daddy feed it to her. Let's talk about that bath. She let her daddy do it. Oh, and what about that breathing treatment? Yep, her daddy was able to do it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you again - Normal? Needs medication? Maybe she doesn't like me???
All I know is that I pride myself on being the mother that refuses to just get all bent out of shape and just simply walks away and ignores. The more my hormones rage, the more I find this impossible. Then I feel like a failure and the thoughts of "there'll be 3 of these soon" flood my head.
Prayers people, they are needed and greatly appreciated!
I'm staying at home with Bailey tomorrow and Sid will be with her on Thursday. Unless of course Sid has admitted me to the phscy. ward by 7 in the morning!!!
Much love, Barbie, Sid, Bailey, Baby A, and Baby B
Someone started singing it, not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue singing it forever just because,
IT'S THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!!!
Bailey is sick. again.
I don't really know what else to say. She started coughing last Tuesday and by Wednesday was running a fever. I didn't know she was running a fever until it was too late to go to the pediatrician. After two doses of Tylenol, she seemed to be doing much better with no temp. Plus she was getting cough med and breathing treatments. But again, on Thursday afternoon, too late to go to the doctor, she started running a temp. Friday morning, the doctor's office is only open until 12 and they were only taking 10 walk-ins because they were short staffed due to it being the Friday of spring break. Like a fool, I let it go. I told myself it was just allergies and she would be fine with a few more days of breathing treatments. And she was ok, until Tuesday of this week. Monday night she coughed and coughed and coughed and finally at 3 am she wanted some cough medicine. So this afternoon, we went to the doctor.
The verdict: PNEUMONIA!!! I'm pretty sure that's spelled wrong, but I don't care at this point. See, we don't see the same doctor, well really she was a nurse practitioner, but she saved Bailey's life and we love her. But she left the clinic a few weeks ago and has not taken a new position anywhere else yet. I really didn't want to go back to the clinic here and see the new doctor because the new doctor sort of ran her off and I didn't like that at all. But I broke down, and we saw the new doctor. The difference between the new doc and the old one was that the old one gave Popsicles. So, naturally, Bailey wanted one. They scraped around and found one and Bailey was in love. Then it was gone and she wanted another one. But we didn't have another one. So when I walked out the door with her, slapped me in the face. Someone please please please tell me this is normal 2 year old behavior. I feel like either I should be medicated or my child should be on an antiphyscotic!
So I get her in the car, we head a block down the road to drop off her prescriptions and Sid was gonna come right behind me and pick them up. Well, of course they have a bubble gum machine, which is Bailey's first true love. I didn't have any money, so the sweet girl that checks you out gave her a dime. She got a pink piece of gum, which is her favorite and then decides to run to the candy isle and look for a pack of gum. Except that wasn't happening! So I picked her up and carried her to the car. She got soooo mad that before I could get her to the car, she took the ball of pink gum and threw it across the parking lot. Guess what? The gum was gone! Forever! And she was none too happy. She pitched such a fit that by the time we got home, which was only 3 minutes away, her mouth was pouring blood. She had either scratched herself or bit herself or something.
Again, is this normal 2 year old behavior. By this time, I was praying to the God of everything that He would sustain me. I refuse to spank my 2 year old when she is in full meltdown mode. I mean, hello, when I'm in meltdown mode and someone were to come along and use physical force to knock it out of me, I only see one of two things happen - retaliate with same physical force or just get even darn madder than I already was. So I refuse to do it. All I know to let her do it is work it out on her own. But it's soooo hard to do when she's screamed "My pink bubble gum mama!" at the top of her lungs for 3 minutes straight.
Clearly, she doesn't feel good. Or she needs to be medicated.
Then we get home, and I'm gonna win the mother of the year award by getting her a bath. NOPE. Wasn't happening. And fixing her some chicken noodle soup. NOPE. Didn't want it. Ok, then let's get our medicines so that we get those in our system. THREE DOSES LATER, WE FINALLY HAVE ONE DOSE IN US. I'm pretty sure we don't have enough to last 10 days because she is wearing one dose in her hair and my shirt got dose number 2. Dose number 3 finally was ingested when it was placed in her juice.
Let's go back to that chicken noodle soup. She let her daddy feed it to her. Let's talk about that bath. She let her daddy do it. Oh, and what about that breathing treatment? Yep, her daddy was able to do it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you again - Normal? Needs medication? Maybe she doesn't like me???
All I know is that I pride myself on being the mother that refuses to just get all bent out of shape and just simply walks away and ignores. The more my hormones rage, the more I find this impossible. Then I feel like a failure and the thoughts of "there'll be 3 of these soon" flood my head.
Prayers people, they are needed and greatly appreciated!
I'm staying at home with Bailey tomorrow and Sid will be with her on Thursday. Unless of course Sid has admitted me to the phscy. ward by 7 in the morning!!!
Much love, Barbie, Sid, Bailey, Baby A, and Baby B
Monday, March 21, 2011
The Blog That Almost Wasn't
So, I have been trying to get this blog updated for well over a week now. And every time I sit down, either life (Bailey) happens, or I hit some random button and all that I've typed disappears. Really, I'd like to say we've been sooo busy that I just haven't had time. Although that isn't the case, we have had some things going on around here that might not be to blog-worthy for you, but I'd like to remember them.
First of all, Spring Break was last week. We went back to work today, after being off a total of two weekends and one full school week - 9 days total! The day has actually been pretty productive and we celebrated by having an early supper at Huddle House. Can you say Yum, Yum!! I was craving a waffle from there and it's not really something you can make at home and it be the same. After we got home, Bailey had the mother of all meltdowns and screamed the entire time she was getting a bath. I don't mean just a cry, I mean a NOOOOOOO! the entire time like I was hurting or something. I never even spanked her except one pop when she threw the ipod. She was just terribly unhappy. And what did I do??? My mind starting racing to this times 3. Needless to say, I took my contacts on and retired myself to the bed.
Anyway, Spring Break, last week. We went to Mom's on Saturday and Sid left to come back Sunday because he had to work. Saturday night, we went out to eat with Mom, Dad, Maggie, Bo, Chris, Erica, Andrew, Erin, and Pappaw. It was a great time and I wish we had more time in our days when we were home to visit the entire family. The time just flies by and I feel so guilty that we don't get to visit more and even see old friends. I watched a movie with mom and dad on Sunday and Bailey went with Aunt Maggie and Uncle Bo to Bo's grandmother's house. I'm pretty sure she had a great time, but she fell and skinned her poor face and nose up. It looked pretty bad for about 6 days, but it's all better now. Monday, Mom and I got mani/pedi and then I got my hair done. We played at the park with Andrew and Erin and then had Chinese take-out (they have the best in Oneonta). That night was the finale of Bachelor. Bailey got in trouble by Poppy T and had to go to bed (although it was time). I don't know if this had anything to do with it or not, but she woke up at like 11 and cried and cried for her daddy. She woke up about every 20 minutes for about 3 hours crying for him and I was so put out. She has never done this before and I didn't know how to help her or fix it. Finally, I got her up and turned the light on to change her diaper and she snapped out of it. But she woke the whole house up and it was rough in the process of getting there. Tuesday, Bailey and I got on the train and rode home. That was a lot of fun, and really easy for me to deal with Bailey and not have to worry about being in the car/traffic/car seat. When the train first started rolling, Bailey said, "I ride the train! Choo-Choo!" We went to the dinning car and had chips, pickles, and some kind of peanut butter/choc ice cream that was to die for. Mom and Dad got us a first class ticket so we had our own little train compartment. It was really cool because Bailey could walk around in a small area and had a big window to look out. She had a place for her juice and eventually climbed up in my lap and went to sleep. Wednesday, she went to daycare and I went to Jackson. Before I could get back home, daycare called and said she was running a temp. She had developed a cough at Mom's on Tuesday before we left but I didn't think much of it. Thursday morning she seemed to be feeling better and was taking some prescription cough medicine. I got us ready and we had a late breakfast at McDonald's and played for a little bit. She was cute playing, but you are supposed to be 3 and so she could only make it up two steps before she couldn't go and further. It was nice because I didn't have to change her. By the time we got home, she was tired and the cough medicine wasn't helping that, so we took a nap and when she woke up she was running a temp again. I called the pediatrician office but of course they couldn't see us. I just decided to ride it out. She just took an antibiotic for the same symptoms less than a month ago. I'm thinking it's more allergy related than sickness related. Friday, we did nothing. Saturday, Bailey went to Nene's house and Sid and I left early to do some shopping in Jackson. We had a great time and really enjoyed the day together. We got home and I cleaned out some of my closet and then Sid and I went to get supper together and pick up Bailey from Nene's. We REALLY enjoyed our day and need more time like that. Sunday, Sid had to work, so Bailey and I stayed home and did nothing but mentally prepare ourselves for today.
So what else is going on?? Bailey goes to the ENT, Dr. Carron, who is also her surgeon, next week. We hope to find out exactly what to do with these allergy symptoms. Well, Dr. Carron won't tell us that, but he said after we got the allergy testing results back that he'd more than likely refer us to the allergist. That's one reason why I decided to just ride out the deal last week, because we now know her airway is normal. When she has a chronic cough, we know it's not a closed up airway. It's more than likely allergies or asthma. We treat for asthma at home and and we will soon learn what to do with the allergies at home. That's another point, I've noticed that Bailey comes home from Mom's alot coughing. I'm thinking between the dog, the plants, the live stuff, the smelly stuff that Mom has all over the house, Bailey just can't handle it. We also think this is the reason Sid gets a migraine every time we go to Mom's. He can't handle all the smells. And the best thing about seeing Dr. Carron next week is that we more than likely won't EVER have to see him again. I'm telling you, the man ranks right up there next to God and my Pappaw in my book and we are so very thankful for Dr. Carron. He cared for a baby girl and did not stop until he knew what he was dealing with and stopped at nothing to fix it. We will def. stay in touch with him for these next 2 babies in case we need tubes or anything. Dr. Carron says that what Bailey had is not hereditary and should not be something that we have to worry about in other children. We are hopeful that these next 2 will have normal airways.
What else?? OH, I go back to the doctor next week, too. March 29th. This will be the visit where they do a sono to check and make sure that the babies have their own placentas. We know they are in their own sacs, because we can clearly see them That's great because they can't get their cords wrapped around each other that way. I read that if they had been in their own sacs, I would have to have been admitted the entire 3rd trimester to have multiple daily checks on this. It is VERY dangerous. I've been trying to wrap my head around what exactly is going on inside my body. Basically, from what I can tell, and I am by no means the authority at this moment, but there was 3 different kinds of twins. There are the abbreviations and in my words.
I am right at 13.5 weeks and I feel really good. The only thing that really bothers me is I can't eat a lot at one time and so I'm hungry often. This doesn't always lend itself to my schedule, but I make do. The tiredness has eased up some, but there are days that I am just dragging. I still have a very wicked gag reflex when brushing my teeth. This morning, I tried brushing them in the shower, thinking if I could just let it all fall out and not have to move my tounge around, it might be ok. WRONG!!! But, it's still something I have to get done. I'm still wearing all normal clothes, and have in fact lost 10 pounds since we found out we were pregnant. I called the doctor last week and the nurse told me this was not uncommon for some women in the first trimester and that the babies would get what they needed. That I would be the one to suffer from not enough nutrition. But she said that if I was eating when I was hungry there really wasn't much else I could do. I did gain 2 of those pounds back over the weekend, so maybe it's picking up. Not that I want to be large and in charge, just wanted to make sure that I was eating enough for me and 2 babies. Like I said, just so much to take in.
I told my Pappaw when I was at home that I sure wished my Mammaw was here. There is so much I'd love to ask her and she'd be tickled to death and proud.
I'm pretty sure your retinas are bleeding now. Have a great week, the weather is beautiful, take it all in!! Much love!!! Barbie
First of all, Spring Break was last week. We went back to work today, after being off a total of two weekends and one full school week - 9 days total! The day has actually been pretty productive and we celebrated by having an early supper at Huddle House. Can you say Yum, Yum!! I was craving a waffle from there and it's not really something you can make at home and it be the same. After we got home, Bailey had the mother of all meltdowns and screamed the entire time she was getting a bath. I don't mean just a cry, I mean a NOOOOOOO! the entire time like I was hurting or something. I never even spanked her except one pop when she threw the ipod. She was just terribly unhappy. And what did I do??? My mind starting racing to this times 3. Needless to say, I took my contacts on and retired myself to the bed.
Anyway, Spring Break, last week. We went to Mom's on Saturday and Sid left to come back Sunday because he had to work. Saturday night, we went out to eat with Mom, Dad, Maggie, Bo, Chris, Erica, Andrew, Erin, and Pappaw. It was a great time and I wish we had more time in our days when we were home to visit the entire family. The time just flies by and I feel so guilty that we don't get to visit more and even see old friends. I watched a movie with mom and dad on Sunday and Bailey went with Aunt Maggie and Uncle Bo to Bo's grandmother's house. I'm pretty sure she had a great time, but she fell and skinned her poor face and nose up. It looked pretty bad for about 6 days, but it's all better now. Monday, Mom and I got mani/pedi and then I got my hair done. We played at the park with Andrew and Erin and then had Chinese take-out (they have the best in Oneonta). That night was the finale of Bachelor. Bailey got in trouble by Poppy T and had to go to bed (although it was time). I don't know if this had anything to do with it or not, but she woke up at like 11 and cried and cried for her daddy. She woke up about every 20 minutes for about 3 hours crying for him and I was so put out. She has never done this before and I didn't know how to help her or fix it. Finally, I got her up and turned the light on to change her diaper and she snapped out of it. But she woke the whole house up and it was rough in the process of getting there. Tuesday, Bailey and I got on the train and rode home. That was a lot of fun, and really easy for me to deal with Bailey and not have to worry about being in the car/traffic/car seat. When the train first started rolling, Bailey said, "I ride the train! Choo-Choo!" We went to the dinning car and had chips, pickles, and some kind of peanut butter/choc ice cream that was to die for. Mom and Dad got us a first class ticket so we had our own little train compartment. It was really cool because Bailey could walk around in a small area and had a big window to look out. She had a place for her juice and eventually climbed up in my lap and went to sleep. Wednesday, she went to daycare and I went to Jackson. Before I could get back home, daycare called and said she was running a temp. She had developed a cough at Mom's on Tuesday before we left but I didn't think much of it. Thursday morning she seemed to be feeling better and was taking some prescription cough medicine. I got us ready and we had a late breakfast at McDonald's and played for a little bit. She was cute playing, but you are supposed to be 3 and so she could only make it up two steps before she couldn't go and further. It was nice because I didn't have to change her. By the time we got home, she was tired and the cough medicine wasn't helping that, so we took a nap and when she woke up she was running a temp again. I called the pediatrician office but of course they couldn't see us. I just decided to ride it out. She just took an antibiotic for the same symptoms less than a month ago. I'm thinking it's more allergy related than sickness related. Friday, we did nothing. Saturday, Bailey went to Nene's house and Sid and I left early to do some shopping in Jackson. We had a great time and really enjoyed the day together. We got home and I cleaned out some of my closet and then Sid and I went to get supper together and pick up Bailey from Nene's. We REALLY enjoyed our day and need more time like that. Sunday, Sid had to work, so Bailey and I stayed home and did nothing but mentally prepare ourselves for today.
So what else is going on?? Bailey goes to the ENT, Dr. Carron, who is also her surgeon, next week. We hope to find out exactly what to do with these allergy symptoms. Well, Dr. Carron won't tell us that, but he said after we got the allergy testing results back that he'd more than likely refer us to the allergist. That's one reason why I decided to just ride out the deal last week, because we now know her airway is normal. When she has a chronic cough, we know it's not a closed up airway. It's more than likely allergies or asthma. We treat for asthma at home and and we will soon learn what to do with the allergies at home. That's another point, I've noticed that Bailey comes home from Mom's alot coughing. I'm thinking between the dog, the plants, the live stuff, the smelly stuff that Mom has all over the house, Bailey just can't handle it. We also think this is the reason Sid gets a migraine every time we go to Mom's. He can't handle all the smells. And the best thing about seeing Dr. Carron next week is that we more than likely won't EVER have to see him again. I'm telling you, the man ranks right up there next to God and my Pappaw in my book and we are so very thankful for Dr. Carron. He cared for a baby girl and did not stop until he knew what he was dealing with and stopped at nothing to fix it. We will def. stay in touch with him for these next 2 babies in case we need tubes or anything. Dr. Carron says that what Bailey had is not hereditary and should not be something that we have to worry about in other children. We are hopeful that these next 2 will have normal airways.
What else?? OH, I go back to the doctor next week, too. March 29th. This will be the visit where they do a sono to check and make sure that the babies have their own placentas. We know they are in their own sacs, because we can clearly see them That's great because they can't get their cords wrapped around each other that way. I read that if they had been in their own sacs, I would have to have been admitted the entire 3rd trimester to have multiple daily checks on this. It is VERY dangerous. I've been trying to wrap my head around what exactly is going on inside my body. Basically, from what I can tell, and I am by no means the authority at this moment, but there was 3 different kinds of twins. There are the abbreviations and in my words.
- di/di - The is where the twins have thier own sacs AND their own placentas. This is the best case scenerio because you basically have two seperate babies growing on their own. This is also the most common of twin pregnancies. These twins may or may not be indenticle and you will never know how 2 eggs were fertilized. It could be that 2 eggs were released during ovulation or that 2 different eggs were fertilized at 2 different times, but very close in times. Does that make sense? They are fertilized within days of each other, but basically have the same growth rate, so there is no way to determine how this type happens.
- mo/mo - This is where the twins share a sac AND share a placenta. It is the rarest of all kinds and the most dangerous. We know our twins are not this type because we at least know they have their own sacs. This type of twin pregnancy is the type that would cause someone to be admitted to the hosptial their entire 3rd trimester. The survival rate if you are not watched that closely is only about 60%. These twins are identicle and are the same sex. They don't have their own placenta because they started as one fertilized egg that seperated later in the first trimester after the placenta had begun to grow.
- di/mo - This is where the twins have their own sacs BUT DO NOT have their own placentas. This type of pregnancy is not a good scenerio because the twins could develop something called TTTS - Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. This basically means that one baby bullys the other baby and takes up all the nutrition and room. It causes the bullied baby to not get all it needs or room to move and so it's growth becomes restricted, among other things. Obviously, this is not good. I'm told that if this were to by our case, I would have to see a specialist for monitoring but it can be done on an out patient basis. In the course of monitoring, should one baby become so restricted, decesions would have to be made as to the treatment so that both babies get what they need. Clearly, this leads to prematurity, which we do not want. I don't really know the statistics of this type of twin pregnancy, but like with the others, it could be one egg that divided and the twins will be identical or it could have been 2 different eggs.
I am right at 13.5 weeks and I feel really good. The only thing that really bothers me is I can't eat a lot at one time and so I'm hungry often. This doesn't always lend itself to my schedule, but I make do. The tiredness has eased up some, but there are days that I am just dragging. I still have a very wicked gag reflex when brushing my teeth. This morning, I tried brushing them in the shower, thinking if I could just let it all fall out and not have to move my tounge around, it might be ok. WRONG!!! But, it's still something I have to get done. I'm still wearing all normal clothes, and have in fact lost 10 pounds since we found out we were pregnant. I called the doctor last week and the nurse told me this was not uncommon for some women in the first trimester and that the babies would get what they needed. That I would be the one to suffer from not enough nutrition. But she said that if I was eating when I was hungry there really wasn't much else I could do. I did gain 2 of those pounds back over the weekend, so maybe it's picking up. Not that I want to be large and in charge, just wanted to make sure that I was eating enough for me and 2 babies. Like I said, just so much to take in.
I told my Pappaw when I was at home that I sure wished my Mammaw was here. There is so much I'd love to ask her and she'd be tickled to death and proud.
I'm pretty sure your retinas are bleeding now. Have a great week, the weather is beautiful, take it all in!! Much love!!! Barbie
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Little Bitty Snipits of the Sono
For some reason the DVD will not just upload the entire 4 mins in a straight 4 min time span. Here is a link to one of the 30 second snipits it demanded on breaking it up in to. If you will notice where it has my name at the top above the video, there is a drop down box that has 9 videos, if you start at 1 and click through you will see the entire 4 minutes. I don't know if this is becasue I don't know how to work it or if it's just the way it got recorded. If you read this, and you know, please let me know!!!!
March 2, 2011
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onGcTUijF7Y
Baby A is head up and Baby B is head down. The tech checked out Baby A, then Baby B,and went back to Baby A. Not sure why, I think she forgot she had already looked at Baby A. She tried to begin and end with a screen of both of them together. It did not really happen. Also, if you watch closely, Baby B moves his/her hands alot. I think he/she was mad that they had been squished as she poked at Baby A. This sono did not feel too good. Still vaginally, just because it was easier with two, and it didn't feel good at all. Next time, it won't be that way.
Well, here's you a look until March 31st.
Love to all!
March 2, 2011
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onGcTUijF7Y
Baby A is head up and Baby B is head down. The tech checked out Baby A, then Baby B,and went back to Baby A. Not sure why, I think she forgot she had already looked at Baby A. She tried to begin and end with a screen of both of them together. It did not really happen. Also, if you watch closely, Baby B moves his/her hands alot. I think he/she was mad that they had been squished as she poked at Baby A. This sono did not feel too good. Still vaginally, just because it was easier with two, and it didn't feel good at all. Next time, it won't be that way.
Well, here's you a look until March 31st.
Love to all!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
March Doctor's Appointment
We got a good look at both Baby A and Baby B today. I wish I could figure out how to put the video on here, but I can't. Our little peas in the pod are about 3.5 cms long, are showing up with about 185 bpm heartbeat, and growing at the speed of lighting, coming in at 10.5 week along. That's technically a week ahead of where they should be, so that's a good thing. All of the bloodwork/tests from the initial visit looked good, all counts are aweome, I didn't gain any weight this month, and so overall, Dr. North was pleased.
I did learn something this time that I thought I already knew. I thought that because the babies were in seperate sacs, this meant they had their own supply of things such as blood and nutrition. Unfortunatly,there isn't a whole lot of information out there on growing/carrying twins. We went to the bookstore today and there was only 1 book in the ENTIRE book store devoted to twins. It just happened to be about what to do when you get them here. I don't need some book telling me what to do when they get here, so I left that book at the store. Anyway, as I learned today, not being in the same sac doesn't clear us from any and all problems relating to growing twins. So, we have an ultrasound next time, in 4 weeks, to look for indications that they have their own supplies.
We decided against things like amnio, even though I will be 35 when our peas arrive. I told the doctor today that nothing will change me carrying these twins and Sid and I parenting these babies. We know that up front. But, if there are less invasive ways to scan for problems we'd like to go that route. We will be having a "big" ultrasound with some other kind of doctor at 18 weeks, which will be in April. That scan should tell us if we need to look further. And if we do, we will. If we don't, we won't. It's just one of those things that I feel is very personally and one that should be made based on what you will do with the information gained. We'll see what kind of info we gain.
Speaking of gains, I did not gain any weight these past 4 weeks. I was very proud of that. It is my goal to only gain baby weight this go around. I will never get the Bailey weight, so I surely don't want Baby A and Baby B weight on top of that. IF I gain the right amount, I will still weigh less at these babies' birth than I did with Bailey.
So, not much else to report. My sweet girl loves her some 2 baby dolls these days. She is so sweet taking care of them, rocking them, singing to them. I just look at her and I wonder how in the world I got so lucky to be her Mommy. She got her first busted lip at daycare yesterday. She fell on the slide and it was pretty bad. She fell as Ben and Kylie's house the other day and talked for 2 days about falling on "Ben's rocks". It was so funny. She has just gotten so grown over the past 10 weeks and I don't know where my sweet baby is going to, but I'm loving the little girl she is turning out to be.
In other news, we have the rest of this week and all of next week and I am SPRING BREAK BOUND. Thank you sweet Jesus!!!!
I wish I could report that my anxiety over life with 3 kids under 3 has lessened, but it hasn't. I jut have so many worries about what we will do about this and that and everything else in between. But at the end of the day, I know that my God has carried me through before and AMEN! he will carry me through again. These babies truley belong to God. HE has done this and we are so blessed. We know this, but my human flesh continues to worry and have anxiety. I tell myself, Baribe, he cares for the birds outside and rather they have food to eat or not. Don't you know he surely cares for you and all that is you? I know he does, but it's so hard to let that ole pesky devil sneak in and try to tell you this and that and steal the joy that God has given. I feel as if I'm starting to get my energy back and I can eat more than 5 bites each meal. So I'm hoping that as time ticks along, we can get out of this house and continue to experience life together and just have fun before we add two more to us.
Here's for all the prayers we can get!!!!! Love to all!!!!
I did learn something this time that I thought I already knew. I thought that because the babies were in seperate sacs, this meant they had their own supply of things such as blood and nutrition. Unfortunatly,there isn't a whole lot of information out there on growing/carrying twins. We went to the bookstore today and there was only 1 book in the ENTIRE book store devoted to twins. It just happened to be about what to do when you get them here. I don't need some book telling me what to do when they get here, so I left that book at the store. Anyway, as I learned today, not being in the same sac doesn't clear us from any and all problems relating to growing twins. So, we have an ultrasound next time, in 4 weeks, to look for indications that they have their own supplies.
We decided against things like amnio, even though I will be 35 when our peas arrive. I told the doctor today that nothing will change me carrying these twins and Sid and I parenting these babies. We know that up front. But, if there are less invasive ways to scan for problems we'd like to go that route. We will be having a "big" ultrasound with some other kind of doctor at 18 weeks, which will be in April. That scan should tell us if we need to look further. And if we do, we will. If we don't, we won't. It's just one of those things that I feel is very personally and one that should be made based on what you will do with the information gained. We'll see what kind of info we gain.
Speaking of gains, I did not gain any weight these past 4 weeks. I was very proud of that. It is my goal to only gain baby weight this go around. I will never get the Bailey weight, so I surely don't want Baby A and Baby B weight on top of that. IF I gain the right amount, I will still weigh less at these babies' birth than I did with Bailey.
So, not much else to report. My sweet girl loves her some 2 baby dolls these days. She is so sweet taking care of them, rocking them, singing to them. I just look at her and I wonder how in the world I got so lucky to be her Mommy. She got her first busted lip at daycare yesterday. She fell on the slide and it was pretty bad. She fell as Ben and Kylie's house the other day and talked for 2 days about falling on "Ben's rocks". It was so funny. She has just gotten so grown over the past 10 weeks and I don't know where my sweet baby is going to, but I'm loving the little girl she is turning out to be.
In other news, we have the rest of this week and all of next week and I am SPRING BREAK BOUND. Thank you sweet Jesus!!!!
I wish I could report that my anxiety over life with 3 kids under 3 has lessened, but it hasn't. I jut have so many worries about what we will do about this and that and everything else in between. But at the end of the day, I know that my God has carried me through before and AMEN! he will carry me through again. These babies truley belong to God. HE has done this and we are so blessed. We know this, but my human flesh continues to worry and have anxiety. I tell myself, Baribe, he cares for the birds outside and rather they have food to eat or not. Don't you know he surely cares for you and all that is you? I know he does, but it's so hard to let that ole pesky devil sneak in and try to tell you this and that and steal the joy that God has given. I feel as if I'm starting to get my energy back and I can eat more than 5 bites each meal. So I'm hoping that as time ticks along, we can get out of this house and continue to experience life together and just have fun before we add two more to us.
Here's for all the prayers we can get!!!!! Love to all!!!!
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